Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be connected with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com, you are now chatting with Clark.
Clark: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Clark, how can I help you?
You: Hi Clark
You: Is this where I come for the information?
Clark: Hello there. I’ll be glad to help you with Overstock.com’s product information.
You: OK great. Please go ahead.
Clark: May I have the catalog number?
You: I don’t have access to those things. Just go ahead and start giving me information please.
Clark: Could you provide me details about particular information, you need to know?
You: Actually, that’s what I need from you.
Clark: We can provide details only for particular item. You need to provide catalog number for the item and what information you need to know about it.
You: OK, well you should just pick something and then tell me about it.
Clark: Sorry, without any particular item, we cannot give any details.
Clark: If you do not have any questions regarding our items, I’ll end this chat session.
You: OK, well I really don’t care about the product. I just need information. If you have to have a number, I’ll just make one up. How about Item#: 11545149?
You: I just made that number up. Does it match any of your products?
Clark: Are you referring to ‘Nasstoys Squirmy Rabbit Vibrating Dildo’ ?

You: I guess so.
Clark: Okay, could you tell me particular information you want to know about this item?
You: Well, I suppose that I’ll start by asking if this dildo is intended to be used on a rabbit. Is it?
Clark: No, the name of the item is Nasstoys Squirmy Rabbit.
You: So it’s should not be used to bring a rabbit to sexual climax then?
Clark: No, it is not for any rabbit or other animals. Only the title name is Rabbit.
You: Should it be used to bring a human being to sexual climax?
Clark: Yes, this item is meant for humans only.
You: OK, not to be a dick, but I’d like to point out that humans are actually animals.
Clark: Do you have any questions regarding Overstock.com?
You: Probably. So Clark, how does this thing work anyway?
Clark: The instructions manual will be provided along with the item.
You: How about a little preview?
Clark: We do not have any preview or instructions available on this item.
You: Can you speculate?
You: Slowly…..
Clark: I did not get that.
You: I was just wondering if you could describe, in detail, the way you think this dildo should be operated.
Clark: I’m sorry, I do not have information about its operational functions.
You: Right, but do you have an imagination?
Clark: No, I do not have any imagination about its function.
You: I don’t believe you, but that’s OK.
Clark: Do you have any further questions for me?
You: Yes. Were I to purchase this dildo, would I be given a color choice?
Clark: Yes, the item is available in pink and purple colors.
You: I was hoping for black.
Clark: It is available in pink and purple colors only.
You: Who’s idea was that?
Clark: Sorry, I did not get your question.
You: Who’s idea was it to only offer the colors pink and purple? Is that the dildo color that the president of Overstock.com prefers?
Clark: We deal in liquidation business and Inventory department purchases items that are available with the manufacturer.
You: OK I get it…he’s your boss and you don’t really want to say.
Clark: Currently this item is not available in black.
You: Well, do me a favor. Please suggest that you color the dildos black at the next team meeting. Will you promise me that you will do that?
Clark: You can view other items on site that might be available in black.
Clark: Is there anything else, I can help you with?
You: Do you mean other dildos, Clark?
Clark: Yes, other items.
You: dildos?
Clark: Yes, you’re right.
You: Thank you.
Clark: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

*This Chitchat is dedicated to my father, Burton.  I love and accept you for whoever you choose to be.  Happy Father’s day Dad!

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Hayden.
Hayden: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Hayden, how can I help you?
You: Hello Hayden, this is Dave. How are you?
Hayden: Hi Dave. I’m fine, thank you. How can I help you?
You: Hayden is a very pretty name.
Hayden: Thank you.
You: Did you know that one of my favorite actresses is named Hayden Panettiere?
Hayden: How can I help you, today?
You: Do you know who she is?
Hayden: If you require help regarding Overstock.com, I can help you.
You: Do you work there?
Hayden: Yes, I work for Overstock.com.
You: Oh ok good.
You: I’m trying to find a gift for my Dad for Dad’s day.
You: Some people call it Father’s day.
Hayden: I will surely check and help you with that.
Hayden: Do you want this item to be delivered by 06/19/2010.
Hayden: *?
Hayden: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Hayden, how can I help you?
You: Are you malfunctioning?
You: I am so confused
Hayden: Please ignore the above message.
You: Done.
You: What would you recommend for a 62 year old cross dresser who resembles Tom Bosley?
Hayden: What is the type of item you are looking for?
You: Well, I was looking at Item#: 12505946
Hayden: Is that the ‘Popsi Lingerie Women’s Diamond Baby Doll and Thong Set ‘ priced at $27.99?

You: Yes!
You: What do you think of it?
Hayden: Let me check on that for you.
You: Do you think it’s a nice gift for my father?
Hayden: This item is meant for girls and it may look odd for your father.
You: I don’t know…maybe you’re right. I think he might be able to actually pull it off though.
You: I am a little concerned about the thong though….because of his IBS. Does it say anything about causing IBS irritation?
Hayden: This information is not currently available with us.
You: Oh, well, just from taking a look at it, do you see anything that could cause a problem? You know, up there?
Hayden: Dave, I am sorry but this is left for you to make a decision on. I really cannot help you here, since this item is meant for women and you are suggesting that I compare it and check how it would look on a man.
You: I suppose that I am asking you to think outside of the box a little. Thank you for being so sensitive to my special needs. My father is very special to me, and I appreciate that you don’t judge him because he feels more comfortable dressing as a woman.
You: I just think everyone has the right to feel sexy. Wouldn’t you agree?
Hayden: I cannot comment on that. I also think that unless you have questions that genuinely are about products or about Overstock.com, I would have to move on to other waiting customers. I understand that you are trying to make a purchase here, but I do not have much information or inclination towards buying a thong for a man.
Hayden: I’ll remain available for another minute if you need further assistance.
You: My questions are genuinely about an overstock product, so I’m not exactly sure what you are driving at Hayden. I simply wanted to know if you thought this thong would be a sexy choice for my Dad, and the next thing I know, you got all judgy.
You: I’m sorry if my father’s life choices don’t coincide with your own.
Hayden: I understand, but I do not have information on what you are asking about. Hence I also would not be able to give my personal opinion on the same.
Hayden: Is there anything else that I can answer for you today?
You: Quite frankly, I would have expected more from a company who’s headquarters are based out of such a forward thinking city, such as Salt Lake, Utah.
Hayden: I am sorry, but I do not have information on this.
You: Would you feel more comfortable if I bought my dad a tool box?
You: Would that be the slice of Apple pie you are looking for?
Hayden: Dave, I am afraid I will have to move over to other waiting customers. Please let me know if there are any further questions that you have before I can wrap this chat up.
You: So, thumbs up or thumbs down on the thong?
Hayden: I would leave that to you to decide.
You: Well played Hayden. Well played.
Hayden: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com, have a great day ahead.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Isabella.
you: Hi Isabella, my name is Dave
Isabella: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Isabella, how can I help you?
Isabella: Hello Dave.
you: How are you today?
Isabella: How may I help you in your shopping?
Isabella: I’m good. Thank you.
Isabella: How are you doing today?
you: I’m doing well, thanks. Isabella is a beautiful name by the way.
Isabella: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome.
Isabella: How may I help you in your shopping, Dave?
you: So, I’m sure things must be better at the overstock.com factory, so I don’t want to take up too much of your time.
you: I meant to say that things must be busy…I’m such an idiot sometimes.
Isabella: If you are looking for any item please let me know so that I can help you in your search.
you: Sure thing…here’s the deal Isabella. I suffer from a foot disease.
you: It’s actually more of a psychological disorder. You see, I am in a perpetual state of fear, always afraid that I will stub my toes.
Isabella: I’m really sorry to hear this, however you can consult with your doctor regarding this. I’m sure Doctor can resolve the concern.
you: I have a wonderful podiatrist.
you: Even though the problem is in my mind, and not my toes, he still sees me once a week to make me feel better. He’s not cheap though.
Isabella: That’s really good to know.
you: As a matter a fact, that’s kind of the reason I’m here chatting with you tonight Isabella. I simply can’t afford to see him anymore.
Isabella: Sure. However, this is a professional chat and I’d be glad to help you more if you have any product related questions.
you: A friend told me that I should try yoga…and that it might help me get in touch with what is causing me to constantly be afraid that my toes are going to be stubbed.
you: So Isabella, guess what? I went to the yoga studio this week for the first time.
Isabella: I’m sure that will give you a relief and if you wish I can show you some Yoga books which can help you too.
you: Isabella, you are so sweet for saying that, but the fact is, I never made it inside.
Isabella: That was just a recommendation from my side.
you: You see, there was a pathway leading up to the door, with gravel. Thousands of little rocks just waiting to stub my toes. Every single one of them. I got back in the car, wrapped my cuddle towel around my feet and gently applied pressure to the gas pedal.
you: This brings me to my overstock.com related question…
Isabella: If you wish you can purchase books on Yoga from Overstock.com and I’m sure these will help you.
you: You are so sweet Isabella. Thank you for suggesting yoga books to me.
you: I found a product called Yoga Toes Toe Stretchers…catalog 10857346
Isabella: Are you referring to the ‘Yoga Toes Toe Stretchers’ for $44.99?

you: Yes.
you: The description doesn’t say anything about them protecting one’s toes from being stubbed. Do they?
Isabella: It will help for the circulation, straightens bent toes, and can even realign the bones. However, we do not have the item you are looking for.
Isabella: Do you have any further question for me?
you: Isabella. It says that these Yoga Toes Toe Stretchers come in a men’s size and a woman’s size.
Isabella: Would you like to purchase this item?
you: Here’s my problem…I have extremely delicate and small feet, but I’ve been lying to my wife about my shoe size. She thinks I’m a 10, but I’m really a woman’s 8. She is so stupid.
you: So, could you send me a woman’s Yoga Toes Toe Stretchers, but make it blue, not pink?
Isabella: We have the medium aqua size available in the stock and not the pink.
Isabella: Health & Beauty Disclaimer: The content on this site is not intended to substitute for the advice of a qualified physician, pharmacist, or other licensed health-care professional. The products may have additional information and instructions on or inside the packaging that you should carefully read and follow. Contact your health-care provider immediately if you suspect that you have a medical problem. This not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or health condition.
Isabella: Due to the personal nature of this product we do not accept returns.
Isabella: Would you like to purchase the aqua color option?
you: You just typed a lot of information, really fast.
Isabella: Thank you.
Isabella: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Isabella, did you know that in other countries, blue and pink don’t necessarily have the same gender assignment as we have here?
Isabella: Dave, I’m sorry we do not have any information on that.
Isabella: Do you have any further question for me?
you: It was more of a little tid bit of knowledge that I wanted to share with you. I phrased it in the form of a question, so that I wouldn’t come off as an elitist.
you: Sorry….I guess I’m just a little nervous.
you: You are obviously really cool, and I guess I just hoped you might think I was too.
you: you know….cool
you: …well?
you: Do you?
Isabella: If you have any product related question I’d be glad to help you.
you: ouch.
you: ok, well…I guess I should get going Isabella.
you: Maybe I’ll talk to you again some time. Thank you, and best of luck on….well…I guess this is goodbye
Isabella: Thanks so much for shopping with Overstock.com. Have a good night.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be connected with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com, you are now chatting with Johny.
Johny: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Johny, how can I help you?
you: Hey Johny, this is Dave
you: How are you today?
Johny: Hi Dave.
Johny: I am fine. Thanks for asking.
you: That’s great!
you: OMG, did you hear about Brad and Angelina?
Johny: I am really sorry, can you please be more specific about your question/concern?
you: Oh right, sorry. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
you: Did you hear about them?
Johny: I am sorry, we do not have information on this.
you: Oh well, then you are talking to right guy, because I have the scoop!
you: They’re splitsville Johny!
you: Can you believe it?!?
Johny: Happy to chat with you.
you: Me too Johny
you: thank you!
Johny: May I have your question or concern, so that I can help you correctly?
you: btw, there is no chance of an actual divorce, because they never even married!
you: Do you remember where you were when you first heard that Brad was leaving Jen for Angie?
you: I for one will never forget it.
Johny: Dave, do you have any questions regarding products that I can help you?
you: Yeah probably….so I was getting ready for work, it was a Tuesday, and I was watching TMZ Tivo’d from the night before, when I heard the news.
you: I nearly shit myself Johny.
you: I mean. Brad and Jen….they were like, so perfect…you know?
Johny: Please give me a minute.
Johny: I am sorry, Dave.
you: Sure thing Johny.
Johny: I am not that good with movies.
you: No worries.
you: You are a very good customer service representative, I can tell.
Johny: Do you have any questions related to Overstock. com products?
you: Oh yeah, I bet…hahaha.
Johny: Do you have any questions related to Overstock. com products?
you: So, anyways….I’m sure you could just imagine how upset I was.
Johny: I am sorry to hear that.
Johny: I will be glad to help you further if you have any questions related to our products.
you: I threw away any movies I had starring Angie J, because it was just too painful.
you: I mean, how could Brad just throw it all away?
Johny: Okay.
you: How Johny?
Johny: I really do not have any clue about films and actors.
Johny: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: That’s so true man. So true.
you: Perhaps though, maybe you could sort of, speculate.
Johny: I can understand.
Johny: Do you wish to know any the products on our site?
you: I think it would be nice if you and I could try and make some sense out of all of this….together.
you: Don’t you think so Johny?
Johny: Yes, but it is not possible also.
you: haha, Yeah tell me about it.
you: That’s actually a really good point.
Johny: I am here to assist you with our products and service. Please let me know if you have any concerns with any of our items.
you: You seem to have grasped some insight into all of this, that pretty much went over my head.
you: Does that come naturally to you?
Johny: I’m working as customer support representative for shopping, I don’t have the information about films and actors actually.
you: Yet, you have seem to have this innate insight into their personal lives.
Johny: No, Dave.
you: Oh. Am I reading into something that’s not really there?
Johny: Are you referring to the news?
you: Which news is that? Did you hear something new?!
you: Don’t tell me Angie and Brad are going to make it work!
Johny: No, I do not have any information about that.
you: Oh thank goodness, I don’t think I could take more of this emotional roller coaster.
you: It’s been up and down and up and down.
Johny: I really understand. Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: How do you manage Johny?
you: With all of this?
Johny: Dave, other customers are also waiting.
you: For what?
Johny: It is for assistance regarding our products and service.
you: Oh, I’ve never had to wait for more than a few minutes.
Johny: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
Johny: Okay.
you: You’ve already helped me so much Johny.
Johny: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome.
Johny: Have a great day.
you: You too.
Johny: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: Ha ha! I know, totally.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jada.
Jada: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jada, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jada, my name is Dave. How are you?
Jada: Hello Dave.
Jada: I’m doing good, thank you.
Jada: How are you?
you: I’m really glad to hear that. I’m ok, I guess.
you: I think we chatted a few weeks ago, you and I.
you: Do you recall?
Jada: Yes, could you please tell me your concern?
you: Oh you do remember me? Wow, I’m surprised because you must talk to hundreds of people everyday!
Jada: Yes, I do. How can I help you today?
you: I was the guy who told you I had a friend named Jada. I recounted the story to her, and she was so exited to learn that someone else shared her name.
you: I didn’t tell you my name, but instead asked you to guess it, which you did, correctly on the third try. I was super impressed, and I’m really glad that we get to chat again.
Jada: Okay. Do you have any questions related to Overstock.com?
you: I do.
you: I’ve decided to start to learn how to do things that I’ve always hated. One of those things is roller skating.
you: Do you roller skate Jada?
Jada: Actually, no I have never tried skating.
you: Well, it totally sucks in my opinion.
you: Pardon my outburst just now….
you: It’s just shoes on wheels, I don’t see what the big deal is.
you: ….anyways, I have a question about item 12378446.
Jada: The Roller Derby GS 3000 Men’s Roller Skate priced at $59.99?

you: Yes, those are the ones.
Jada: What questions can I answer about this product?
you: Well, the description says “Perfect for those who love to skate”
you: This is my concern Jada.
Jada: It works well with those who don’t love to skate too; however, it works the best with the people who love skating.
you: I see.
Jada: Any product will work the best when you actually like to use it, isn’t it?
you: You make an amazing point.
Jada: Thanks. Have you decided that you will start skating?
you: Well, you have brought me closer than ever, but I’m still concerned.
Jada: I understand. Deciding on starting something that you hated the most can be difficult. I’ll leave the choice to you.
you: Jada, you have a very easy way about you, in that you inspire without even trying to.
Jada: If you decide to go with skating, the Roller Derby GS 3000 Men’s Roller Skate is a good choice, it has a 5 star rating on it.
you: Again, you do this.
you: This job must come pretty naturally to you.
Jada: I’ll take this as a compliment, thanks.
you: You should, because that how it was intended.
Jada: I do like the job that I do and thanks for the compliments, it made my day better.
Jada: Do you have any questions about the Roller Derby GS 3000 Men’s Roller Skate?
you: Jada, do you have any thoughts on the risk factor tied in with this potential new activity?
Jada: It can be risky and I’d suggest you to get professional trainer’s advise until you master the art of skating.
you: That’s a really good idea.
you: Hey, check out item 2538706
Jada: The Treehouse Book priced at $20.30?

you: Yeah….I think treehouses are the coolest.
Jada: in The Treehouse Book, treehouse builders Peter and Judy Nelson, with David Larkin reveal their findings, illustrated and described in the most complete volume yet.
you: If we can’t fly with the birds, at least we can nest with them.
Jada: Being with the nature is always a great idea; although we actually cannot do it all the time.
you: You don’t think so?
you: Some people do it, don’t they?
Jada: Yes, I agree with you. This book includes detailed how-to information, including plans and drawings.
you: Have you ever been inside a treehouse?
Jada: Yes, I did and it was a nice feeling.
you: Could you describe it to me?
Jada: I’m sorry, I’d not be able to disclose any more personal information.
Jada: Dave, it was nice chatting with you. Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: I’d really like to hear about the treehouse Jada….
you: please.
you: I need this….
Jada: I’m sorry, the chat service is meant for queries related to Overstock.com and any deviation from this is not allowed. I hope, you’d appreciate this service and keep it this way.
you: I appreciate you, and I appreciate Overstock.com. There is still a big part of me though, that can’t quite let this go.
you: You’ve tempted me with the beginnings of a story, that it now seems, I will never get to hear, or know, or feel.
you: And that’s just hard Jada. It really is.
Jada: I understand and am sorry for not being able to tell you more about the Treehouse experience.
you: I feel like, you want to, but the rules that govern you as an employee are holding you back
you: It’s a shame that a corporation is keeping two people from having a real human connection.
Jada: It’s not that I want to share the experience too. I’d like to chat with customers who would like to know more about a product or resolve any of their issues; however, I do not prefer to discuss anything apart from my work when I chat.
you: Oh, so you actually don’t even want to share the experience with me then….
you: is that right?
Jada: To be frank, yes, I do not want to.
you: Oh, well I feel terrible Frank.
you: I was pressuring you, and all this time, you didn’t even want to talk about it. I blamed Overstock….but that wasn’t the case at all.
you: I really am truly sorry Jada.
Jada: No, that’s fine. I do understand your enthusiasm in knowing more about Treehouses and I’m sorry if I have disappointed you in any way.
you: I’m a little disappointed, but mostly I’m embarrassed.
Jada: Sorry about that, that definitely wasn’t my intention.
you: That’s ok….I understand.
you: I guess, I should probably let you go now.
you: I’m going to try and move forward from this….
Jada: Have a great rest of the week.
Jada: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Rhiannon.
Rhiannon: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Rhiannon, how can I help you?
you: Hi Rhiannon,this is Dave. How are you?
Rhiannon: Hello Dave.
Rhiannon: I am fine, thank you.
Rhiannon: How are you today
you: Kind of tired. I awoke this morning to find that I had time traveled into the future one hour.
Rhiannon: Okay, how can I help you today?
you: Well, perhaps you can help me adjust to this new time.
Rhiannon: I am sorry, I wish I could do that for you.
you: I wish you could too.
Rhiannon: Can I know your reason to visit Overstock. com today please?
you: Sometimes I just like to talk to you and your friends. I guess I’m trying to latch on to what little bit of normalcy I can, after falling victim to traveling through time, against my own will.
Rhiannon: I am sorry, can I know your concern regarding Overstock. com today please?
you: Well, I suppose that I’m a little curious about the products that exist in the future. Well, technically for you it’s the present, but I’m still time lagged.
Rhiannon: Okay.
you: What are some of your newest and most innovative products?
Rhiannon: Do you have a catalog number?
you: Oh thank goodness you still have catalog numbers. I’m starting to feel at home already.
Rhiannon: Please ignore the above question.
you: Oh, okay. I wish I had ignored it, but I responded too quickly.
you: I think it’s a timing issues, since I’m still feel like I’m living in the past.
Rhiannon: What item are you looking at today, so that I can check and help you with our high selling item?
you: Well, there is an item that caught my eye as soon as I logged on to Overstock. It’s that green pot of gold pictured on your home page.
you: It doesn’t have a catalog number though…
Rhiannon: Let me check that for you.
you: Great thanks….

Rhiannon: I have checked and the green pot item you are referring to is just an advertisement item to celebrate St. Patrick’ day.
Rhiannon: Click here to view the items for St. Patrick’S day.
Rhiannon: *St. Patrick’s day.
you: Oh I see. When you are finished using it to advertise, can I have it?
Rhiannon: I am sorry, we do not have this item on our site, however we do have similar items.

Rhiannon: If you wish,  I can search  for some similar  items for you.
you: That’s OK, I don’t really want similar items. I just thought it would be cool to have that one.
you: Do you guys have any Stevie Nicks records then?
Rhiannon: Let me check on that for you, please hold for 2-3 minutes.
you: I will do this.
Rhiannon: Thanks for holding.
you: You are super welcome.
Rhiannon: I have checked and we do have Stevie Nicks records.
Rhiannon: Let me provide you with the link of the Stevie Nicks records we have on our site.
Rhiannon: Click here to view the items.

you: Wow, she sure has a lot of records.
you: Have you ever heard her music Rhiannon?
Rhiannon: I am sorry, I am not much into music.
Rhiannon: Are you interested in an item today?
you: She has a song called Rhiannon.
you: It was a hit in my time.
Rhiannon: I understand and I did heard that song. I loved it.
Rhiannon: Do you have a particular item you are looking at today?
you: I bet you did. You must have thought she was singing right to you.
you: Right into your heart….
Rhiannon: Yes, you are right.
Rhiannon: Do you have a particular item you are looking at today?
you: No, I don’t think so.
you: I think I’m going to go off and explore this new time now.
you: Thank you for helping me adjust
Rhiannon: Okay, it was nice chatting with you.
Rhiannon: You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: You too my friend….yes, one last thing….
you: What time is it where you are?
you: For me it’s noon, but it should be 11 am.
Rhiannon: Dave, it is 12 midnight here.
Rhiannon: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Oh my goodness. Rhiannon, I don’t want to alarm you, but it appears that you have also time traveled.
you: thirteen hours by my calculations….
Rhiannon: Very true, Dave. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Wow, you are taking this well.  Everyone you knew and loved is now just a little bit older now.
Rhiannon: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: No, I guess if you’re ok with it, then we’re all done here.
Rhiannon: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Spencer.
Spencer: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Spencer, how can I help you today?
you: What up Spence? Is it cool if I call you Spence?
Spencer: Hi there.
you: My name is Dave
Spencer: I am doing, thank you.
Spencer: Hi Dave.
you: Hi.  I too am doing.
Spencer: Sure, not a problem.
you: Sweet. Do people call you Spence?
you: I don’t want to offend you in any way.
Spencer: It’s okay, not a problem.
Spencer: May I know your concern?
you: Sure thing Spence…
you: So, what can you tell me about catalog number 11575232?
Spencer: Are you referring to the “Dead Sea Secrets Mineral Mud Soap (Pack of 10 Bars)” priced at $12.96?

you: Yes…it sounds clean, but also not clean at the same time. Does that make sense?
Spencer: Thank you for confirming the item.
you: You are super welcome
Spencer: May I know why did you feel that it is not clean?
you: Yes, because it comes from the dead sea, and it is mud. Very dirty sounding.
you: Also, it appears to be keeping a secret.
Spencer: Thank you for the information.
Spencer: Please give me 3-5 minutes while I check that information for you.
you: I will wait for you Spence.
Spencer: Thank you.
you: you are super welcome.
Spencer: Thank you for staying online.
you: To be honest, it wasn’t that hard. I have wireless.
you: I consumed two tangerines while waiting for you, and feel less dirty.
Spencer: I checked and see that this soap contains a unique combination of Dead Sea mud & minerals that have been specially formulated for the treatment of acne, blackheads & other skin disorders.
Spencer: This soap will effectively remove impurities, bacteria & excess oils and will actively prevent the formation of blackheads.
you: ew
Spencer: It contains the dead sea mud which has been formulated which means that it is clean and good for your skin.
you: I think that I’m one of the lucky ones Spence. I can’t recall, even in my days of working at Mc Donalds and contracting pretty severe acne, ever getting a black head.
Spencer: Due to the personal nature of this product we do not accept returns.
you: I should hope not. Has anyone ever tried to return a bar of soap?
Spencer: None that we have come across so far.
you: I won’t be the first Spence, that would be seriously gross and unsanitary. I am dirty, but not that dirty.
Spencer: I understand that, however, as it includes coconut oil, palm oil, aloe vera and vitamin E which is very good for your skin.
you: Were those ingredients added only after they drudged the floor of the Dead Sea, placed the mud in what I presume was a Palestinian operated tugboat, and then shipped via freight train to somewhere just outside of Istanbul?
Spencer: I am sorry, we do not have the detailed information regarding the process of manufacturing this item.
you: Hence the name, right?
you: Secrets?
Spencer: I am sorry, I didn’t get you.
you: the soap is called “Dead Sea Secrets Mineral Mud Soap”, and you don’t know where it came from. That would be the secret, right?
Spencer: Let me check the origin of this item.
you: Do you really think they’ll tell you?
you: Spence, you know what…you seem like a nice guy man…
Spencer: I checked and see that this item has been originated from Israel.
you: I feel like I’ve gotten you in too deep already.
Spencer: Thank you.
you: Look, neither of us really know how far up this goes….
you: Let’s just drop it…you can go on helping other customers, and I can just find another soap. There! Problem solved…
Spencer: Would you like to place an order for this soap?
you: Spence….seriously, you have been great, but let’s just end it here, ok?  Some secrets are best left as that….secret.  That sea wasn’t always dead if you catch my drift…
Spencer: Okay, not a problem.
you: I’m going to run up to Rite Aid, grab some Zest.  I suggest that you do the same.
Spencer: I’m happy to do it. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: no man….be safe bro.  Thank you, and happy 50^th by the way.
Spencer: You’re welcome.
Spencer: Thank you and wish you the same.
you: Love.
Spencer: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jada.
Jada: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jada, how can I help you?
you: That’s my friend’s name too!
you: She’s great….
Jada: Hi there. That’s nice to hear.
Jada: How can I help?
you: That’s not my name though…I have a different name.
you: Would you care to know it?
Jada: Yes.
you: OK, take a guess.
Jada: I’m sorry, I’m very bad in it.
you: That’s ok! Just give it a try Jada!
Jada: Is that John?
you: Nope! Good guess though…
Jada: Is that Johnny?
you: Nope!
you: You’re doing great though!
you: Guess again Jada!
Jada: Well, how can I help you today?
you: Nope, that’s not it either! My friend Jada is really bad at this game too!
you: I’ll give you a hint…it starts with the letter D!
Jada: Okay, last guess. David?
you: Yes!!!!!!!!
you: I knew you could do it Jada!
you: You can call me Dave though.
Jada: Dave, how can I help you today?
you: That was fun, wasn’t it?
Jada: Yes, it was.
you: I like fun things!
you: Jada, I have something amazing to tell you about.
you: And the best part it, it’s totally related to Overstock.com!!
Jada: Okay, go ahead.
you: OK, so I’m starting my own website…it’s going to be called…Overstock.org!!
Jada: That’s good.
you: It’s a non profit organization that will provide all the underprivileged children in America, the wonderful products from Overstock.com!!
you: But for free!
you: I’m super exited about this new venture Jada.
you: What do you think of my idea?
Jada: That’s a very good idea.
you: Thank you. Here’s a little story that will give you some insight into why I am doing this:
Jada: Alright.
you: The other day I was at the mall, and I found this little boy sitting on a bench crying. He was holding a video game.
you: I asked him if he was ok, and he said “No, my mom just bought me this playstation 2 game, but I wanted a playstation 3″
you: It broke my heart….you see, his mother couldn’t afford to buy him the playstation 3, so he had to settle for the outdated technology.
you: Can you believe that Jada?
Jada: I know, the child must be very disappointed.
you: He was devastated
Jada: I understand.
you: My vision is that Overstock.org will be able to provide all the best that Overstock.com has to offer, but for people who can’t afford your already low prices.
you: If that last story didn’t break your heart, get ready for this….
you: On another trip to the mall, I found this young teenage girl sitting on the same bench, also crying.
you: Even though I knew it would be creepy to talk to her, I decided to anyway. I asked her what was wrong and she told me the most horrifying story.
Jada: That’s a great vision. I am positive that your organization  will prosper with the blessings of all the underprivileged children’s all around the world.
you: Thanks Jada….what you just said was beautiful.  I know it’s hard to hear these tales, but please…brace yourself.
you: I hope you don’t have a weak stomach…
you: It turns out that all of her friends were sending pictures to one another on their cell phones, but her’s didn’t have that capability, and her parents couldn’t afford to buy her one that did.
you: I thought I was going to be sick….are you ok Jada?
Jada: Yes, I’m fine.
you: You’re very strong, but it’s ok to feel upset by my story. It’s OK.
you: Moving on to a positive note…I was inspired to start Overstock.org, as I said before.
you: So, all I need now, are the products!
Jada: I really do not see you having any valid questions or comments about Overstock.com, so it would be great if I moved onto other customers waiting for me.
you: Actually, just a sec Jada.  Please don’t run out on me just yet….
Jada: I appreciate you taking time for all the chatting that was done, and I wish you the best of luck for your venture.
you: Here’s what I propose….
you: How about we start with say, 25 of everything?
you: Would Overstock.com be willing to donate?
you: I just want to see all the underprivileged children get the wonderful products that Overstock has to offer, and that they, as Americans, are entitled to….
you: So?
Jada: I am sorry, but 25 quantities of each item would not be donated. That is just way too many products going out.
you: OK, fair enough….how about 15?
you: I’m willing to work with you on this…I mean, if I have to.
Jada: I am sorry, but I will have to move on to other customers. If you are interested in purchasing products from us, please add them to your cart and keep it ready.
you: I don’t want to overburden the Overstock.com factory Jada.
you: Let’s start with five of each.
you: We’ll start off slow….
Jada: Dave, if you are interested in making a purchase of 5 quantities of every item that Overstock.com sells, then please add them to cart. I cannot do that for you.
Jada: I am sorry, but I will have to move on to other customers.
you: I can guarantee that the work you and I are doing here tonight is a billion times more important than any of the other customers waiting.
Jada: The reason is that we have thousands of products and it is simply too time consuming to do that.
Jada: Please choose the most necessary products, make a list of them and then add it to your shopping cart.
you: OK I understand….
Jada: I am sorry, but I will have to move on to other customers.
you: Jada, lets try this from a different approach. Why don’t you tell me which products you are willing to donate?
Jada: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: We’ll just start small, OK?
you: A few Playstations, some cell phones capable of sending pictures over text….maybe some ipods.  You know, the essentials.
you: I’m sorry, I’m just so passionate about this.
Jada: If you have a donation request, please have an email sent to bpopelka@overstock.com. You can address him as Brian.
you: Can I call him bpopelka? That sounds more fun!!
you: Like, a pasta or something!
Jada: You can write to the above email address in case you have any further queries. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: No, but thanks for all of your help Jada! Be sure to stop by Overstock.org!
Jada: Thank you for your time, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Macey.
Macey: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Macey, how can I help you?
you: Oh hi Macey. My name is Dave. How are you?
Macey: Hi Dave.
Macey: I am fine, how about you?
Macey: Thanks for asking.
you: Sure thing! I’m good, and thank you!
Macey: You are welcome.
you: There are three products that I will need your help with tonight.
Macey: Sure, I’ll be happy to help you with that.
you: Great. You got a hammar?
you: pardom me….hammer….
you: I’m so sorry I spelled that wrong Macey.
Macey: That’s okay.
Macey: Let me help you with the product information.
Macey: May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
you: I don’t actually have one yet because I couldn’t find the kind of hammer I need. You see, I’m looking for a hammer of justice.
Macey: Let me check that for you.
you: Great, thanks.
Macey: Just to confirm, are you looking for any book related to hammer?
you: No, just an actual hammer. Of justice.
Macey: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome.
Macey: I see that we currently don’t carry the item you are looking for.
you: Do you have anything else that I might be able to hammer out justice with?
Macey: I have checked with the available resources and found an ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.
Macey: Let me provide a link to view the ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.
you: OK
Macey: Please click here to view the ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.

you: It is charming….but I think that it may be too small to hammer out warning, or danger.
Macey: I can understand.
you: I mean, I could try, but there is a LOT of warning and danger that needs hammering out, and I think it would just take too long if I used this little piece of jewelry.
you: Perhaps we should move on to the second item?
Macey: I apologize we don’t carry the hammer which you are looking for.
you: That’s ok Macey…
you: thanks for looking.
Macey: You are welcome.
Macey: Sure, lets move on.
you: Cool.
you: You got a bell?
Macey: Let me check a bell for you.
you: Great, specifically I am looking for a bell of Freedom.
Macey: I am sorry, we don’t carry the ‘bell of Freedom’.
you: Oh too bad…
you: Might you have another product with which I could use to ring out freedom?
Macey: I understand that you are looking for hammer of justice, bell of Freedom.
you: Yes.
Macey: We don’t carry these kind of items.
Macey: If any item is available it will be displayed on our site.
Macey: You can enter the item name in the search field and enter.
you: I think that in a simpler time, these products might have been easier to find.
you: There are certainly no shortages of mp3 players, or video game machines.
Macey: We have branded MP3 players and video game machines on our site.
you: Like, with a hot iron type thingy?
you: I don’t know the word for those things….
Macey: Okay. Could you please give more information about the “hot iron type”?
you: Actually, I guess they’re just called brands, right?
you: Either way, it’s not important. I think it’s weird that you guys do that to electronic products, but it’s really none of my concern.
you: I’d like to move on to the final item….
Macey: We have good brands like Apple, Generic and Visual-Land.
you: I’m sure they look great….but again, not interested.
Macey: Let me proceed with the final item.
you: Yes, the third item is actually a song.
you: I don’t know the title, but it’s a song that I’d like to sing.
you: It’s a song about love between my brothers and my sisters.
Macey: I am sorry, we don’t have an option to hear the song.
you: How do you generally sing out warning, and danger?
you: and love between your brothers and your sisters?
Macey: I am still checking on that information.
Macey: I am sorry for the delay.
you: ….that’s ok.
Macey: Please allow me a minute or two while I check that for you.
you: OK, while you’re doing that I wanted to tell you what I’d do if you had these things.
you: If I had a hammer I’d hammer in the morning I’d hammer in the evening All over this land I’d hammer out danger I’d hammer out a warning I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
you: secondly…
you: If I had a bell I’d ring it in the morning I’d ring it in the evening All over this land I’d ring out danger I’d ring out a warning I’d ring out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
you: and finally….
you: If I had a song I’d sing it in the morning I’d sing it in the evening All over this land I’d sing out danger I’d sing out a warning I’d sing out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
Macey: Thanks for staying on hold.
you: you are super welcome.
Macey: I don’t have information how to sing out warning, and danger.
Macey: Do you have any more questions for me today?
you: May I make a statement?
Macey: Sure.
you: I feel very strongly that the Overstock.com factory should begin to manufacture all of the items that we’ve discussed here to tonight.
you: If not for me, than for the children.
you: ….and also the oppressed probably.
Macey: I can understand and currently we don’t have these kind of items.
Macey: Is there anything else I can help you today?
you: No thank you Macey. Thank you again.
you: Have a groovy forever man.
Macey: You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure to help you today.
Macey: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great night.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Juliana.
Juliana: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Juliana, how can I help you?
you: Hi Juliana
you: My name is Dave, how are you?
Juliana: Hi, how can I help you?
Juliana: Dave, I am good.
you: Oh that’s good to hear. Me, not so much.
you: I’m very frustrated with my son right now.
Juliana: I will be glad to help you with your concerns.
you: Oh thank goodness. Juliana, that is such a beautiful name.
Juliana: Thank you.
you: It’s very republican sounding.
you: Are you a republican?
Juliana: Yes, I am.
you: Oh.
Juliana: May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
you: I’m not, but I think your name is still really pretty.
Juliana: Thank you so much.
you: You are super welcome.
you: So yeah, about my son….
you: I’m really not happy with his behavior as of late.
you: He said the f word the other day.
you: He said “fucking”.
Juliana: I am sorry to hear that.
you: Me too.
you: He said, “I don’t have to do my fucking homework”
you: I almost spit out my milk.
you: I was drinking milk at the time.   2%.
you: Do you have kids Juliana?
Juliana: No, I don’t have.
Juliana: Dave, are you interested in any of our products?
you: Well, let me tell you, they are great…until the day comes when they say “fucking”. Then you feel like you’ve created a fuck monster.
you: It’s not a good feeling. I for one, don’t use that kind of language,
you: I think it’s makes people sound unintelligent.
Juliana: I understand.
you: So, this brings me to my Overstock.com related question….
you: Ever since Leroy said “fucking”, the curse words have been flowing out of him like fucking rain water.
you: It just kills me, because I don’t use that kind of language.
you: Neither does his mother.
Juliana: I do understand but it happens with this generation.
you: I should claim some responsibility for this, because I did start laughing pretty hard the first time I heard it.
you: I mean, do hear the word “fucking” come out of that little kid….it was pretty fucking hilarious.
you: But again, it’s not my way….
you: Juliana, it’s important to discipline your kids when they say bad words.
you: Do you agree?
Juliana: I absolutely agree.
you: I’m glad you do.
you: I should tell you that this is not one of my strong points.
you: But when Leroy called his infant sister a “cock nose”, I decided this had all gone too far, so I washed his mouth out with soap.
you: Do you think that’s mean?
Juliana: Yes, they are kids we should mend them properly.
Juliana: I will be glad if you have any concerns related with Overstock.com.
you: Oh yes, I do.
you: Thank you Juliana.
you: I want you to be glad.
Juliana: Sure.
you: After I washed my son’s mouth out with soap, he cried for hours. He said that he didn’t like the way it tasted.
you: I don’t quite understand how something that smells so good, can taste so bad, but since I don’t actually eat it myself, I’ll have to take his word for it.
you: It’s important to trust your children.
Juliana: You are correct.
you: So, this is where I would like your help.
you: Juliana, can you please find me some soaps that Leroy will like the taste of?
you: Your best tasting soaps please.
Juliana: Let me check and help you with that.
you: He called his grandfather a cunt face last night, so I don’t think this is going to stop anytime soon.
you: I just don’t want him to have to suffer through his punishment.
you: Being a forward thinking liberal, I’d like him to enjoy it instead.
Juliana: Would you mind holding for 3 to 5 minutes while I check on that for you?
you: Not at all Juliana. Thank you.
you: One of my cats has climbed into my lap, and is purring.
you: He’s orange.
Juliana: Thank you for holding.
you: You are super welcome.
Juliana: Please check the item but your son cannot taste it.
you: Are you referring to Burt’s Bees Baby Bee Buttermilk Soap (Pack of 6)?

Juliana: Yes.
you: Thank you for confirming the item.
Juliana: You are welcome.
you: Super welcome?
Juliana: Yes.
Juliana: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Juliana, I think that Leroy will like this soap in his mouth. Also, it’s named after my father.
Juliana: Great.
you: His name his Burt,  even though his grandson calls him cunt face.
you: Hopefully, this great tasting soap will change that though!
Juliana: Hope so.
you: It feels really good to have solid grip on this thing. I’m really glad I understand how discipline works.
Juliana: Even I too.
you: That’s for sure Juliana. You have played a very important role in my family’s history today.
Juliana: Thank you.
you: No, thank YOU.
Juliana: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: I think we’re done here. Maybe just give the Overstock.com factory a heads up, that they are going to have to start making a LOT of this fucking soap!
you: Have a great day!
Juliana: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: Nope.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Val.
Val: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Val, how can I help you?
you: Hi I’d like to by one you please
Val: Hi there.
you: Hi
you: I’d like to buy a Val please
you: What are you going for these days?
Val: I am doing good, thanks for asking.
Val: How can I help you today?
you: Great, what’s the asking price today?
Val: Could you be more specific with your concern, please?
you: Yes,forgive me.
you: I’d like to buy a Val. How much?
Val: I am sorry, if you have any questions regarding Overstock.com, I’ll be glad to help you further.
you: Oh yes, I should have been more clear. What is Overstock.com charging for one Val? Specifically you.
Val: I am really sorry for that, we are here to help you with the products and the Overstock.com account. If you have any questions regarding the items and the account, I’ll be glad to assist you with that.
you: Val, you shouldn’t have to apologize for not being for sale. If you’re not for sale, then that’s all you need to say. I’ll drop the subject.
you: I should tell you, that I will be looking for some luxurious items tonight.
you: I live a VERY luxurious lifestyle.
Val: That’s great to hear.
Val: Can I know which item you are interested to purchase?
you: I’m interested first and foremost, in the product that you think is the MOST luxurious on your site.
you: You see, while I do enjoy luxurious things, I am terrible at picking them out.
Val: I’ll help you with that, can I know if you are looking for any specific item, brand and price range?
you: Oh I assure you Val, money is no object.
Val: Sorry to inform you that, we do not have any option to answer your question, however if you any querie regarding Overstock.com I will be happy to help you.
you: I see. Well like I said, I am terrible at this, but lets just take a look at item#: 12313888.
Val: Thanks, one moment please.
you: You are super welcome.
Val: Can I know your concern with this item number?
you: What product are you showing listed under that number Val?
Val: Are you referring to “Maddy Emerson Couture Silver Pearl and Gemstone
Ring (3-5 mm)” for $35.99?

you: Yes, ok good. We are looking at the same thing.
Val: Are you interested to purchase this item?
you: Do you think that its luxurious?
Val: I see that its a good item, it is made of sterling silver, gemstones, pearls.
you: Oh sorry, I wasn’t talking about the ring….I was talking about the hand that it’s attached to.
you: Its exquisite isn’t it?
Val: Yes, you are right, if you do not have any queries regarding the item, I’ll be force to end up the chat and move to other customer.
you: Val, I still have questions.
you: Is that hand attached to a person, or is it a mannequin of some sorts?
you: Or for that matter, is it attached to nothing? Like, just a stand alone hand….
Val: Its a mannequin.
you: Is there an entire mannequin attached to the hand, that has been cropped out of the photo?
Val: I am sorry we don’t information on that.
you: Because it really is exquisite….
Val: Is there any thing else I can help you with today?
you: Yes, I’d like to buy it
Val: I am sorry I’ll be force to end up the chat and move to other customer.
you: Name your price Val.
Val: Thanks so much for shopping with Overstock.com. Enjoy your day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Dayna.
Dayna: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Dayna, how can I help you?
you: Hi Dayna, how are you?
Dayna: Hi there.
Dayna: I am good.
Dayna: Thank you for asking.
Dayna: I hope the same with you.
Dayna: How can I help you?
you: Well, I’m pretty good too thanks.
you: Today is my birthday!
Dayna: That’s great.
you: I guess so…
Dayna: Many Many Happy Returns of the Day.
you: Thank you Dayna….
you: That’s actually why I’m here tonight.
Dayna: You are welcome.
you: I was hoping that Overstock.com would give me a present.
you: …for my birthday.
Dayna: I am sorry, currently we do not such option that allow us to send a birthday present for our customers.
Dayna: I am sorry for the same.
you: That’s ok. We can keep it unofficial if you’d prefer.
you: I figured you could just talk to the other customer service reps, and maybe start up a collection.
you: If everyone contributes a few dollars, I think we could find something really nice.
Dayna: I understand however, we do not have such option.
you: Dayna, I know that the company doesn’t offer the option, but lets just keep it between us. I won’t say anything.
you: I don’t need anything too extravagant.
you: My name is Dave by the way. You should know that for when you guys sign the card.
Dayna: I’m sorry, Dave. We will be unable to send you a gift.
Dayna: I shall disconnect the chat if you have no other questions related to shopping with Overstock.com.
you: If you can get 12 people to each chip in 14 dollars, I can get an HD Television set.
you: Do you want to at least ask around the room?
Dayna: No. I didn’t as we don’t have any option to do that.
Dayna: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Randall.
Randall: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Randall, how can I help you?
you: ONE HUNDRED BILLION
Randall: Hi there.
you: Hi. That’s how many stars there are in the Milky Way Galaxy Randell. One Hundred Billion.
Randall: I am glad to know that.
Randall: How can I help you?
you: …and there are hundreds of billions of galaxies just like ours.
you: Go ahead and take a second to think about that Randall.
Randall: I’ll remain available for another minute if you need further assistance.
you: Yeah, kind of blows your mind. Am I right?
Randall: Sure, it does.
you: I mean, can you even fathom how large this universe is man?
Randall: I understand you have great interest in astronomy.
you: Yeah, I’ll say.
Randall: Would you like to buy any products from Overstock?
you: Overstock is small potatoes man. I’ll tell you what’s overstocked….it’s our universe.
you: And it’s overstocked with life.
you: Randall, do you think there is life out there?
Randall: I am not sure, because I believe only what I see.
you: I get it….you’re not a man of faith, but rather a man of science.
you: I’m just like you Randall, a man of science.
Randall: Its good to hear that.
you: And yet, I just know that there has got to be life out there. I suppose, and this is hard to say…but I suppose that I just have faith.
Randall: I would love to discuss your subject of interest. However, I am unable to do that since this is a professional chat.
Randall: I would be happy to help you if you had any queries about Overstock.
you: You have been nothing but a true professional, but it’s not faith in a benevolent god, but rather an acceptance of the fact that there are a lot of things, we just don’t understand yet.
you: You know what I’m saying Randy?
you: I mean Randall?
Randall: I do.
you: It just boggles me silly.
Randall: I agree with you that we have much more to discover about many such things, which we can at the moment, just assume.
you: Exactly!
you: You get it man. You totally get it.
you: It’s like….wow…you know?
you: crazy.
Randall: Is there anything else, apart from astronomy, that I may help you with?
you: Do you have any chapstick?
Randall: Let me check on that.
you: Thanks. My lips have been getting chapped.
Randall: Please allow me 3-4 minutes while I check this for you.
you: I will, but it seems like a pretty long time to have to wait for you to research chapstick.
you: My name is Dave by the way….I don’t think I told you earlier.
Randall: Thank you for holding Dave.
you: You are super welcome.
Randall: I am sorry to inform you that we do not have this item in stock.
Randall: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Oh. OK. Well, do YOU have any?
you: Actually never mind….
you: I guess it would be hard for me to get it from you.
Randall: I am afraid we do not have this item listed on our website.
you: It’s cool man. I’m going to walk down to the store and get some. I need milk too.
you: What are you going to do after this?
Randall: I will start to read more about astronomy.
you: Yes!
you: Good man!
Randall: It was a pleasure helping you. Do you have any other questions for me now?
you: Can I suggest a good book for you to start with?
Randall: Sure.
you: Item#: 2630699
Randall: Are you referring to ‘Cosmos’ by Sagan, Carl?

you: Yes thats the one!
you: He’s the best!
Randall: Thank you for referring this book Dave.
you: Sure thing.
Randall: I will surely go through it.
Randall: I am sure this book has helped you a lot to understand our universe.
you: Yeah lots…
you: But I strive to learn more and more every day
you: or at least some days.
Randall: We are proud to have this book listed in our website which has helped so many of our esteemed customers like you.
you: Thanks my friend. Hey Randall, when I searched for COSMOS, the site also brought up Item#: 12141756
you: ….not sure why.
Randall: Are you referring to the ‘Island World Apparel ‘Seeing Signs’ Bandeau Bikini’?

you: Yeah…weird right?
Randall: Yes, it is horribly weird.
Randall: I will make a note of this so that it will not get repeated again.
you: What’s up with that model?
you: Is she the boss’ daughter or something?

you: She’s just not cute….and she actually looks really scared.
Randall: Dave, you do have a good sense of humor.
Randall: I appreciate that.
you: Thanks, you too.
Randall: I’m happy to help. Do you have other questions I can answer for you?
you: I’m good for now Randall.
you: Have a good night, and I’m sure I’ll be talking with you soon enough.
Randall: It was nice chatting with you Dave.
Randall: I hope we will chat again.
you: Nice chatting with you too, and don’t worry, we will.
Randall: Thanks for your visiting Overstock.com, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Vanessa.
Vanessa: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Vanessa, how can I help you?
you: Hi Vanessa, my name is Dave. How are you?
Vanessa: Hi, Dave.
Vanessa: How may I help you today?
you: Something is bothering you….
you: Is that why you didn’t want to say how you are feeling?
you: …or to ask me how I am feeling?
Vanessa: I am sorry, could you please tell me your concern so that I can help?
you: How are you?
Vanessa: I’m good. Thanks for asking. How are you doing today?
you: Much better now that I know that you’re ok.
you: I’d like to discuss one of your products, that I have already purchased.
Vanessa: I can help you with that.
Vanessa: Could you please let me know your questions about the product?
you: Yes, before I tell you what product it is, I want you to know that it has changed my life for the better.
Vanessa: That’s good to hear.
you: It has inspired me to the point that I have realized my true calling….
you: Please prepare yourself for Item#: 12100725
Vanessa: Is that the ‘Gwendolyn and the Good Time Gang (DVD)’ priced at $12.82?

you: Yes, but you should charge more for it.
you: It’s has changed me inside.
Vanessa: Well, we have a really good deal that we get for our media products and it is the savings that are passed onto our customers that keep bringing them back to us.
Vanessa: However, I appreciate you being so appreciative of the product and showing concern for our pricing.
you: Vanessa, have you seen or heard this band?
Vanessa: No, I haven’t heard about this band.
Vanessa: It’s just that the merchandising team is the one that decides on the pricing, not us at Customer Service.
you: Before you go home tonight, I think you should walk over to the area of the Overstock.com factory where this DVD is stored, and take one home with you.
Vanessa: Well, that sounds really good. I might actually give it a try, not tonight though.
Vanessa: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Before you watch it, take a look in the mirror and say goodbye to the Vanessa you know now, because after viewing it, a new you will emerge, forever changed.
you: In a good way of course….
you: But let me get to the reason I’m contacting you.
Vanessa: Sure, please go ahead.
you: Vanessa, I have decided that I need to join this band.
you: All day long, I walk around singing such Gwendolyn and the Good Time Gang hits as, “Farm Animal Friends”, and “Itsy Bitsy Spider”
Vanessa: Okay, could you please tell me the question about this item?
you: I’m assuming that this record was recorded at your office, so I was wondering if you could please put me in touch with either Gwendolyn, or any other members of the Good Time gang.
you: I’d like to schedule an audition.
Vanessa: I’m sorry Dave, I would not think that has happened. There is information that confirms that the audition was done at our office, and why would they. You might have to get in touch with this band yourself.
Vanessa: Do you have any other question for me?
you: Vanessa, didn’t quite understand what you just said. Are you saying that they did not make the record at your office?
Vanessa: Well, the description says that this was captured live at the Geffen Playhouse in Los Angeles. I did not see anything that mentions about an audition done at our office.
you: Oh I see…as far as the audition is concerned, I was just thinking that we could do it at your office for convenience sake.
you: Also, it would mean a lot to me if I could have you there to support me.
Vanessa: I’m sure that did not quite happen. Okay, would there be anything else that I can answer?
you: Well, that’s kind of my point Vanessa. None of this has happened yet.
you: I’m hoping that you can get me in touch with Gwendolyn, or Brandon the drummer, or Robert the bass player, or even Shereen or Dylan on backup vocals.
you: As you can see, I know a lot about the band….
you: It seems like destiny, wouldn’t you agree?
Vanessa: I can forward this to a Specialized Representative from the Product Information Department and we can get back to you in 1-2 business days either via email or phone. But that doesn’t promise a contact information for the people you had asked about.
Vanessa: I understand that you are quite thrilled about this product and it’s origin.
you: It defines who I am now.
Vanessa: May I have your email address?
you: yes, you can have them contact me at ______@yahoo.com
you: Vanessa?
you: Do you think I have a shot at my dream?
Vanessa: Well, I wouldn’t want to discourage you, and frankly, I do not know. I wish you the very best.
you: That is really sweet of you to say.
you: I’m working on a kids song about a kitty who gets lost, and then find her way home.
you: I didn’t know what to name her, but I’ve decided to name her after you.
Vanessa: That’s nice to hear. Would you like to know anything else?
you: The song will be called “Vanessa the Lost Orange Kitten Who isn’t Lost Anymore”.
you: It’s a kinda reggae
Vanessa: Okay.  You certainly have a keen sense of humor and I appreciate that.
you: Thank you, but let me just be clear here…this is no joke.
Vanessa: Alright.
you: This is what I am going to do with my life.
you: I am going to join Gwendolyn and the Good Time Gang, and perform with them forever.
you: I’ll send a copy of your song to your attention at the Overstock.com factory.
you: Cool?
Vanessa: You certainly have your plans listed. Once again, I wonder if I can do anything more than wishing you the best.
Vanessa: I would love to answer any product related questions that you have about this or any other products.
you: You could tell me your favorite color…
you: I’ll make sure that the album cover is that color.
Vanessa: Dave, I really don’t have a favorite color.
you: You like them all, I get it.
Vanessa: Well, if it isn’t too abrupt, I would want to ask if you have anything that I can assist you with right now.
Vanessa: If not, I would certainly love to move on to other customers.
you: …and you should. I’ve taken up much of your time….
you: Just remember me though, I might just be your only customer tonight to name a song after you….
you: though it would be a shame if that were the case.
Vanessa: Thank you.
you: you are super welcome.
Vanessa: That certainly is true, Dave. I have never had anyone name a song after me before this.
Vanessa: So I guess that is it for now?
you: You deserve volumes upon volumes my friend.
you: Yes, thank you so much for your time and inspiration.
Vanessa: You are welcome too. Have a great day.
Vanessa: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Thanks for your time.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Aramand.
Aramand: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Aramand how can I help you?
you: Hi this is Dave…how are you?
Aramand: Hello, Dave how may I help you today?
you: I am looking at catalog 11134686. I have a few questions about this.
Aramand: Are you referring to ‘Clone-a-Willy Chocolate Kit’ priced at $69.99 ?
you: Yes!

Aramand: Thank you for confirming the item.
you: I’ve never seen such a product…
Aramand: Can I know your question please?
you: So, I can use this product to make an exact mold of my penis, yes?
Aramand: Yes, you are correct you can use this product to make an exact mold .
you: Of my penis?
Aramand: Yes, you are correct.
Aramand: Let me tell you that due to the personal nature of this product we do not accept returns.
you: I should hope not Aramand!
Aramand: I do understand your concern.
Aramand: We look forward for your continued business with us.
Aramand: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: So, could I then give this penis shaped chocolate mold to somebody?
you: Or should I eat it myself?
Aramand: This item  is perfect for bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, anniversaries, Valentine’s day, birthdays or any time you need a sexy gift
you: Is it also perfect for people who maybe just have a sweet tooth?
Aramand: I am sorry to tell you that we do not have this information as it is not mentioned on the product page.
Aramand: I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you.
Aramand: Do you want me to help you placing the order?
you: This penis chocolate can be eaten though, correct?
Aramand: Yes, you are correct.
Aramand: Can I go ahead and place the order for you?
you: Not yet…tell you what, I’ll let you know when I need help with the order, so going forward you don’t have to ask me that anymore.
Aramand: Okay.
Aramand: We look forward for your continued business with us.
Aramand: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: Aramand, does my penis need to be erect during the molding, or will flaccid suffice?
Aramand: I am really sorry to tell you that we do not have this information as it is not mentioned on the product page.
Aramand: Do you have any further question for me?
you: Right, is there any way to find out? It’s kind of a big deal…
you: if you catch my drift…
Aramand: I apologize for this inconvenience.
Aramand: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: Hey man, it’s not your fault…you’re just the guy who works at the chocolate penis mold factory…it’s those fat cat’s upstairs that I need to talk to…
you: Also, after I have removed the mold from my penis, should I worry about any residual chocolate going inside….of my penis?
Aramand: I am really sorry to tell you that we have only this information as mentioned on the product page.
Aramand: Add water and poof, a chocolate Willy
Aramand: Kit includes everything you need to make an exact copy of any penis in your own home
Aramand: Kit includes everything you need to make an exact copy of any penis in your own home
Aramand: Kit contains melt and mold milk chocolate flavored chips, molding tube, molding gel, and easy to follow directions
Aramand: Be ready to be amazed at the detail
Aramand: Kit is perfect for bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, anniversaries, Valentine’s day, birthdays or any time you need a sexy gift
Aramand: We do not have further information as it is not mentioned on the product page.
Aramand: Do you have any further question for me?
you: Hey Aramand….is this available in dark chocolate? I have some vegan/ lactose intolerant friends that I would also like to give a chocolate mold of my penis to.
Aramand: This item comes in Chocolate color.
you: What does that mean, brown?
Aramand: Brown and Chocolate color are the same.
you: What about white chocolate?
Aramand: I am sorry to tell you that we do not have this information. ..
Aramand: Do you have any further question for me?
you: Aramand, can I ask you one more question?
you: Would you ever use this product on your own penis?
Aramand: I’d like to tell you that this is a professional chat.
Aramand: May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
Aramand: I am sorry for the wrong typo.
Aramand: I would be forced to disconnect the chat.
Aramand: Do you have any further question for me?
you: The thing is, Rachel (she works in your department) told me that she has used this certain kind of lotion before….so why can’t you tell me if you would use this product to create a chocolate mold of your penis?
Aramand: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Kimberly.
Kimberly: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Kimberly, how can I help you?
you: Hello Kimberly,this is Dave.
you: How are you?
Kimberly: Hi there Dave, I doing good, how about you.
you: Really good, thanks.
you: I was hoping you could assist me in my online shopping tonight.
Kimberly: That’s great, how can I help you today?
Kimberly: Certainly.
you: Kimberly, I’m not going to lie to you. It’s been a rough year for our family.
you: Folks have been dropping like flies….and while I miss the dearly departed a great deal, I am also sick and tired of these funeral homes charging an arm and a leg for these caskets!
Kimberly: I’m so sorry to know that.
you: Oh thanks for saying so….
you: Kimberly, I am going to need some help with these caskets, because I have never ordered anything this large online before.
Kimberly: Could you please be more specific about your concern?
you: Yeah sure….I guess I’ll go ahead and start with myself, since there’s no real emotional attachment there…
you: With me, for me, I just want to save a little bread, you dig?
Kimberly: I’m sorry, I am afraid, I didn’t get you.
Kimberly: Could you be more precise on your concern / question?
you: No worries….
you: Could you see me rolling up to the pearly gates in Item#: 11193248?
Kimberly: Let me check and help you further with this.
Kimberly: Is it regarding the ‘Earth, Wind & Fire Deluxe Wood Casket’ priced at $1,099.99 with Item#: 11193248?
you: Thanks Kimberly.
Kimberly: You’re most welcome.
Kimberly: Is it regarding the ‘Earth, Wind & Fire Deluxe Wood Casket’ priced at $1,099.99 with Item#: 11193248?

you: Yes.
you: What do you think of it?
Kimberly: Would you like to purchase this casket today?
you: whoa whoa whoa….easy now.
you: What do you think if this casket Kimberly?
you: It’s the cheapest one….but is it nice?
Kimberly: Yes, of course.
Kimberly: Well, the burial casket is made of 100-percent natural wood and perfect for direct cremation or for a funeral service followed by cremation.
Kimberly: This casket is made of Bio-degradable wood.
Kimberly: Please note that due to the personal nature of this product we do not accept returns.
Kimberly: Earth, Wind & Fire Deluxe casket in stock: Ships today if ordered by 1:00 PM CST. Delivery 2 business days from order (3 days to MT, WY, ND and Western NB). Call 1-877-491-1122 for exact delivery information. Shipped via Federal Express. No deliveries on Saturday, Sunday or holidays.
Kimberly: I also see that this item is made in North America (Canada).
you: Well, my personal choice would be to not go through the cremation process….just because I’d like to be in one piece when St. Pete greets me, ya know what I mean?
you: How do you think this box will fair in the trip?
Kimberly: Yes, I truly understand your concern and select an item completely depends on your satisfaction.
Kimberly: *Selecting an item.
Kimberly: You may take all the item you need and checkout the items we have on our website and decide which item meets your needs.
you: I’m sorry for being so choosy, I hope I’m not taking up too much time. It’s just an important decision, as I’m sure you understand
Kimberly: Yes, I do.
Kimberly: I certainly understand how important it is for you to select the casket online.
you: Yeah, stow a little dough you know?
you: Again, an arm and a leg those guys are asking…I call it highway robbery.
you: So, you and Overstock are a welcomed relief let me tell you
you: So Kimberly, does this box just come stock or can we talk options?
Kimberly: I guess this item requires a simple assemble.
you: that’s no biggie.
you: How about music?
you: It seems silly to think that if we were having this conversation a few years ago, I’d be asking if it had a CD player, but I’m really only interested in an iPod dock.
you: Can we get an add on for this thing?
Kimberly: Do you have any questions or concerns regarding Overstock.com?
you: Yes, everything I have said in fact is intended for Overstock.com.
you: I am coming to you for this.
you: If it’s an after market kind of situation, that’s fine, but it will contribute to my final decision.
Kimberly: I understand that, however, do you have any specific questions / concerns for today?
you: And I mean FINAL decision, if you catch my drift.
Kimberly: Alright, would you need my assistance in placing an order for ‘Earth, Wind & Fire Deluxe Wood Casket’ on your behalf?
you: Yes, for sure. I was hoping that the concerns I have already presented could be dealt with today.
Kimberly: Certainly, I’ll help you find a iPod dock for you.
Kimberly: So, it will be an add on to this order, okay.
you: Oh great….thanks Kim.
you: I was hoping you guys could do this
Kimberly: Let me understand you, you are looking for a iPod dock and not the iPod, right?
you: That’s correct. I’ve got the iPod already.
Kimberly: That’s great.
Kimberly: May I please know the model of your iPod?
you: It’s about near full as a matter of fact.
Kimberly: Yes, I agree with you.
you: OK cool….its called a Nano
you: Mostly smooth jazz in there.
you: Kenny G, Dave Koz, and the like. Some Sting, but only his really earthy adult contemporary stuff.
you: I don’t like to think too hard about the music I listen to.
Kimberly: I’ve checked the availability on our website and found the ‘Teac HD-1 HD Clock Radio with iPod/iPhone Docking (Refurbished)’, which may suit your needs.
Kimberly: Please click here to view the ‘Teac HD-1 HD Clock Radio with iPod/iPhone Docking (Refurbished)’.

Kimberly: Did you get the link?
you: Very nice….I guess it will be god to know the time. I’ll just set it to forever, if you follow me.
Kimberly: Certainly, go ahead.
Kimberly: Includes remote control for radio/clock function iPod/iPhone basic functions.
Kimberly: Includes remote control for radio/clock function iPod/iPhone basic functions.
Kimberly: Connection jacks: Headphone, line-out, aux-in, video-out, AM antenna in and FM antenna in
Kimberly: Includes user manual
you: Well, I won’t need that stuff, that’s for sure.
you: I just wanna set it and forget it.
Kimberly: Docking standard for iPod Classic (160G), iPhone 2G/3G.
Kimberly: Okay, no problem.
Kimberly: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Kimberly, will your guys install that at the Overstock factory?
you: I’m not really sure where it will go…probably in the cover of the casket, right?
you: Like, down around my knees?
Kimberly: Of course not.
you: Oh?
you: Where then?
you: I guess you could install through the bottom, but won’t that effect the quality the sound?
Kimberly: I’m sorry, we don’t provide the installation service at Overstock.com.
Kimberly: You need to purchase this dock and do it on your own.
Kimberly: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Oh I see….
you: no custom stuff then?
you: Tell you what Kimberly, I want to thank you for your help with all of this, but I am feeling like tonight might not be the best night to try and make this all happen.
you: There’s always another day.
you: Well, not always, but hopefully.
Kimberly: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Will you have a good night tonight?
Kimberly: Thank you.
Kimberly: Thanks for your visiting Overstock.com, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Sebastian.
Sebastian: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Sebastian, how can I help you?
you: Hi Sebastian, my name is Dave. I’m new to your site.
you: How are you today?
Sebastian: Hello.
you: How are you?
Sebastian: I am fine, thank you.
you: Great.
you: Sebastian, I
Sebastian: How can I help you today?
you: I’m sorry for not finishing that last sentence. I think I hit the enter key earlier than I wanted to.
Sebastian: That’s okay not a problem.
you: What I was going to say, is that I would like your help finding a birthday present for my stupid kid.
Sebastian: That’s great to hear that you are a new customer for us and welcome to Overstock.com as a new customer and you have come to the right place as we deal in quality products at great discounted price.
you: Did you just type that?
Sebastian: Yes, I typed that when you told you are a new to our site.
Sebastian: May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
you: Well, it’s a really nice site you’ve got going here Sea Bass. Is it cool if I call you Sea Bass?
Sebastian: Thank you.
you: No worries. I’m cool, and you’re cool, so I think it’s cool if we give each other nicknames.
you: Do you want to call me something else?
Sebastian: Let me know if you have query regarding Overstock.com so that I can resolve that?
you: Sure thing Sea Bass. Like I said, I’m shopping for bratty son.
you: Seriously, this kid is going to grow up to be a huge prick, I can already sense it.
you: Anyway, I thought I could get him a rocking chair, so maybe he’d stop trying to sit on my lap all the time.
you: Do you think that’s a good idea?
Sebastian: May be a good idea.
Sebastian: Click here to view the Rocking Chair
Sebastian: Did you get that link?

you: Yeah, I was looking at this one though…Item#: 12349572
you: I have a few questions about it…
Sebastian: Sure, Let me know that.
Sebastian: Are you referring to this ‘Fly Boy Airplane Rocking Chair’ priced at  $139.95?

you: OK so, this kid in the picture, is like super cool, with his leather jacket, and his aviator sunglasses….right?
Sebastian: I am sorry, this is a professional chat and let me know if you have any query regarding the product.
you: Sea Bass, my point is, this kid has got it going on. I mean it looks like this chair was made for him.

you: My kid will NEVER be that cool. EVER.
you: Do you think I should still get him this chair?
Sebastian: It’s depend on you.
you: How so?
Sebastian: Let me give some details about this product.
you: Please do.
Sebastian: Easy to open and close cockpit panel.

you: Cockpit?
you: I know what they mean, but I really don’t like that word.
you: Please, go on.
Sebastian: A photo greeting card is included so the child can say thank you in a memorable way.
you: Is there any way the photo can be of the kid in the ad?
Sebastian: It measures 23 inches long x 16 inches wide x 29 inches high.
you: Nice size for a photo I guess.
Sebastian: Okay, Do you have any further question?
you: Yeah, about the photo?
you: I try not to take too many pictures of my kid, so I wondered if the one you send me could be of the cool kid in the ad.
you: He seems better than my kid, just all around.
Sebastian: I am sorry, we don’t have an more information about that.
you: Sea Bass, can you make that happen for me?
Sebastian: We are in chat department and I will resolve your concern about the product.
Sebastian: Is there anything else I may help you with today?
you: I also have a question about something in the product description….
you: it says “Special understamp beneath the seat can be personalizes with the child’s name, the name of the gift-giver and the special occasion when the chair was received”
you: Would it be possible to find out the name of the kid in the ad, and have his name stamped to my kid’s chair?
you: Sea Bass? Are you still with me?
Sebastian: I am sorry for the delay.
you: it’s cool
Sebastian: So do you need any further information about our product?
you: I’d like it if you could address the questions I’ve already asked you.
Sebastian: We don’t have an information about that. I am sorry.
you: I accept your apology.
you: Does the chair come with the sunglasses and leather jacket? Not that I think my kid could pull off the look, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
you: Sea Bass, are you getting up and walking away from your computer or something? I’ve been waiting for you to respond for like 5 minutes.
Sebastian: No this item will not come with sun glasses and leather jacket.
you: Sea Bass, do you think that you might adopt the nickname I have given you into your real life?
Sebastian: I am sorry, this is professional chat please let me know if you have any query regarding the Overstock.com.
you: What are you running from Sea Bass?
you: It seems like you don’t like me.
you: I don’t want to have to use my sad face emoticon on you…but I will.
you:  : )
you: wait no, I mean : (
Sebastian: I am sorry, if you feel that way, however, as this is a professional, we are not authorized to discuss the personal information.
Sebastian: Do you have questions related to the services of Overstock.com?
you: I guess not  : (
Sebastian: Thanks for your visiting Overstock.com, have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Roy.
Roy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Roy, how can I help you?
you: Wow, that WAS quick!
Roy: How may I help you today?
you: I thought I would have to wait for a little bit, but you were right there. BAM!!
Roy: Thank you.
you: Hi Roy, my name is Dave, how are you today?
Roy: I am fine, thank you.
Roy: How can I help you today?
you: Roy, can I ask you a personal question related to Overstock.com?
Roy: Sure.
you: How is the weather at the Overstock.com factory today?
Roy: It is good, how about their?
you: Oh here? In America? Well, for me it’s great because I live in California, but there are many parts of the country that are very cold this time of year.
you: Does it rain much in Bagalore?
Roy: Yes, How can I help you today?
you: I’m sorry, I spelled that wrong…it’s Bangalore correct?
you: Roy? Are you with me?
Roy: Yes, I am here.
you: I see that it is sometimes spelled Bengalūru also…
you: Which do you use?
Roy: Either one is fine. It does not rain much here. How can I help you with questions related to Overstock.com?
you: Very well…I’d very much like to visit your country one day. Perhaps I will purchase my backpack from Overstock.com!
you: Anyway, tonight I’m shopping for women’s boots.
Roy: Sure, I can help you with your purchase of your backpack or the women’s boots now.
Roy: Have you found something interesting or shall I help you find one?
you: Thank you for paying such close attention Roy! I don’t intend on buying the backpack tonight. though. Yes, please find me the women’s boots that you think are top notch.
you: They will be for a very special lady….
Roy: Have you decided on the color and the budget that you’re willing to spend on the boots?
you: Orange, and money is no object.
you: I’ll pay any price for the best orange boots.
Roy: That’s a nice color, I’ll have to see if we have any in orange.
you: I like that color too Roy. That the color my two cats are!
you: They are my everything.
Roy: I understand. I have found a couple of orange boots, let me know if they are something that you’re looking for.
Roy: Please click here for the Lane Boots Men’s Classic Brown/ Orange Boots priced at $189.99.

Roy: You can find the Lane Phoenix Burnt Orange Women’s Cowboy Boots priced at $154.99 by clicking here.

you: I’m actually speechless Roy.
you: Exquisite.
you: absolutely exquisite
you: Did you design those?
Roy: No, they were designed by someone else.
you: I wasn’t sure if they cross trained over at the Overstock.com factory or not.
Roy: We also have the Lovely People Women’s ‘Ambrose’ Orange Pumps at $65.99, would you like to have a look at this one too?
you: You know Roy, if you are tired of working in customer service, you ought to get yourself over to the Orange boot department and see what that’s all about.
you: I mean, those guys are obviously doing ground breaking things over there.
Roy: I actually love working as a customer care representative and it feels good being one.
you: That’s great to hear. You are really good at it too.
Roy: Thanks, I’ll take that as a compliment. Which of the two did you like the most?
you: I liked the left one on the men’s pair, and the right one on the woman’s pair.
you: Anyway you can cut me a deal on just those?
Roy: That’s a little tricky. For that you will have to buy both and then take one from each and discard the rest.
Roy: If you don’t have any questions about the items, shall we proceed with the order?
you: I do have another question about both….
Roy: Sure, please shoot.
you: These boots, are they made for walking?
Roy: Yes, of course. I don’t think you can put them on all the time, you can use it for special occasions.
you: Oh I see. Like birthday parties?
Roy: Yes, that should be fine.
you: How about, a funeral for an eccentric homosexual clothing designer?
Roy: I’d not wear one for such occasions; however, it depends on each individual.
you: You’re all class Roy. All class.
you: Tell you what, I’m going to go ahead and sleep on it before I make my decision.
Roy: No problem. Please keep in mind that items tend to sell out real quick, I’d suggest you to place the order as soon as possible.
you: It’s been a sincere pleasure chatting with you.
Roy: It was a pleasure chatting with you too. Have a great New Year and a good rest of the evening.
Roy: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: No thanks Roy, I’ll check in with you again before I make my next purchase. Have a great night.
Roy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: Always.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative momentarily.
 Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with David.
David: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hi David. That is also my name.
David: Hi, how are you doing today?
you: not bad, and you?
David: Yes, I’m good.
David: Thank you.
David: Please let me know your concern.
you: I’m not really concerned, I mean…I’m not emotional or anything like that.
you: I guess, I’m just curious
David: Okay, I’ll be glad to check and help you today.
you: my question is as follows:  Lotions?
David: May I have the order or invoice number that you are referring at?
you: Catalog #: 10207904
David: Thank you for the catalog number.
you: you are super welcome David
David: Are you referring to the ‘Liquid Oxygen Anti-Aging Body Lotion’ priced at $69.99?

you: Yes, Liquid Oxygen, that is the one.
you: how does one breathe it into their lungs?
David: Thank you for confirming the product.
you: you are super welcome
David: David, I’m sorry to tell you that we don’t have the information that you need.
you: that’s too bad. I’m no scientist, but it seems that Overstock might be on to a real break through here.
David: I’m really sorry, I’ll notify this to our Research Team to check and you will be contacted within 1-2 business days via email or phone.
David: May I have your email address and phone number, please?
you: my phone number is 323 ___-___, please don’t call between the hours of 2:30 am and 3:45…I’m usually working out.
David: Okay, may I have your email address please?
you: I’m sorry, I don’t use e-mail…will you be calling me personally David?
you: I’m looking forward to talking with you in person
David: Ok, I’ll notify this to our Research Team to contact you via phone if possible.
you: So, there is no guarantee that they will call?
David: I’m positive that you will be contacted regarding your question.
you: thank god…this liquid Oxygen fascinates me
you: do you think it might take a little getting use to at first?
you: The liquid Oxygen, that is
David: Yes, I do believe it.
you: have you ever seen the lab where it is created?
David: I’m sorry, I haven’t seen that.
you: oh…I wondered if the product had been tested on animals.
you: animals are so stupid.
you: David, are there any health benefits to breathing Liquid Oxygen into your lungs, as opposed to regular Oxygen (air) which technically is a gas?
David: I’m sorry, I don’t have the information about that.
David: I’ll include all this questions on my notification to our Research Team.
you: I don’t mind.
David: Please allow for our Research Team to get back to you.
you: By the way…I don’t really think animals are stupid.
David: It’s ok, is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: I don’t know why I said that before.
you: I guess I may have been trying to impress you.
David: It’s not a problem, David.
David: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
you: Can you tell me a short story about your research team?
David: Our Research Team will contact the concerned warehouse and manufacture regarding this product related to your questions.
you: ha ha…that was a pretty good one, I guess.
David: As soon as they obtain the necessary information, you will be contacted with the same.
you: oh, sorry I thought it was done.
David: Please let me know if you have any further questions for me?
you: are they nice people?
David: Yes, they are nice people.
you: I only ask because I suffer from a condition called Telephonophobia
you: if people are not nice and pleasant, I become frightened and feel alone.
David: I hope that you will be contacted from a good person.
David: Is there anything else I can help you today?
you: me too David. Can you put a note about that?
you: in fact, I’d like to be contacted by an elderly woman if possible.
you: as elderly as you can find.
you: is that possible?
David: I’ll make a note of this on my notification to the Research Team.
you: you have been an absolute doll, and I thank you.
David: You’re welcome.
you: bye now
David: Thank you for your patience.
David: It’s been nice chatting with you.
you: thank you for yours.
David: Bye, take care.
David: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
 Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Brendan.
Brendan: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Brendan, how can I help you?
you: Hi Brandon, this is Dave. How are you?
Brendan: Hi, Dave.
Brendan: I’m fine.How’re you?
you: Pretty good thanks!
Brendan: How can I help you?
you: Just getting ready for a trip
Brendan: Great.
you: I’ll be doing a lot of traveling in the coming months, so I’ve decided to stock up on some supplies.
Brendan: Very well thought.
you: Thanks for saying so!
Brendan: Can I know the items you’re looking to purchase?
you: Sure thing. I’m kind of a list maker….
Brendan: Okay.
you: Today I made a list of some of my daily functions, ranging from cutting food to fixing a golf shoe.
Brendan: Okay.
you: My list ended up being pretty long….141 lines to be exact.
Brendan: We have a wide range of products  to choose from.
you: What I was hoping, was that maybe you could suggest a product that would be able to perform all 141 functions, while still fitting in my pocket.
Brendan: Well, I can help you to choose the items you wish to choose and also can help you to place the order.
you: OK, I should also tell you that I’m on a budget. I can’t spend more than $1,048.95.
Brendan: Okay.
Brendan: Please take a look on our web site to choose the items you would want to purchase.
you: Brendan, I don’t know how you managed to do it, but I think that I’ve found the perfect product!!
you: Please take a look at Item#: 11450801
Brendan: Sure.
Brendan: Are you referring to ‘Wenger Giant 85-tool 141-function Swiss Army Knife’?

you: Yes!
you: It looks like a Transformer
you: from outer space!
Brendan: Well, if that suits your needs please go ahead and place the order.
you: Brendan, do you own this product?
Brendan: I see that this item is in stock at the monent.
Brendan: Please place the order before we run out of stock.
you: Oh, are you concerned that a lot of people will buy this swiss army knife tonight?
Brendan: Since we deal in liquidation of merchandise, the items on our site are sold out quickly.
Brendan: Is there any product related help that I can help you with?
you: Brendan, do you think that this knife with 141 functions can be used for a few more functions than those that are listed?
you: I just added a few more things to my list….
Brendan: The functions of this knife  are listed on the product page.
Brendan: However, I’ll not be able to comment whether it can be used for few more functions as well.
you: Brendan, I realized that I called you Brandon when we first began our chat. I’m sorry.
Brendan: That’s alright.
you: Are you sure?
Brendan: Yes.
Brendan: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: I’m really hating myself for that. The thing is, I know a lot of guys named Brandon, but only one named Brendan.
Brendan: That’s absolutely fine.
you: The guy I know named Brendan is a kick ass tomboner.
you: I mean, like really good. I’ve known him since high school, and he sometimes hires me to play drums for him.
you: Brendan, do you play the trombone?
Brendan: I can help you if you have any query regarding Overstock.com.
you: Oh yes…please look up Item#: 935285
Brendan: Sure.
Brendan: Are you referring to ‘Orchestra/ Band Approved Trombone with Case’ priced $ 233.99?

you: Yes! Do you know how to play that thing?
Brendan: Yes, how can I help you regarding this item?
you: You can play it?
Brendan: I’m sorry I do not play it.
Brendan: Please understand that this is a professional chat and I can help you regarding questions pertaining to Overstoack.com.
Brendan: *Overstock
you: I don’t think you should have to apologize for that Brendan
you: It’s not your fault.
you: Even though this is a western instrument, since t has a slide I think it would transfer really well into Indian music.
you: You could play quarter tones and such…they would sound flat to a western trained ear, but beautiful in Indian music!
you: Brendan, would you like me to give you this horn?
you: I like you, and I’d be willing to buy it for you.
you: Since you already work at the Overstock.com factory, all you would need to do would be to walk over to the trombone department and pick it up.
you: Brendan, are you still with me?
Brendan: Yes, I’m here.
you: Have you had a chance to think about my offer?
Brendan: I’ll sign off if you do not have any questions pertaining to Overstock.com shopping.
you: Would you be more comfortable if I retracted my offer?
you: Brendan, I understand that you don’t want me to purchase this horn as a gift for you. I’m really sorry if I offended you.
you: Add that to getting your name wrong earlier, and it’s not looking so good for you and me as friends. Self-hatred.
Brendan: I shall conclude this chat session as you don’t have concerns related to your shopping with Overstock.com.
Brendan: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative. 

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jeremy.
Jeremy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jeremy, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jeremy…this is Dave. How are you?
Jeremy: I’m good thanks.
Jeremy: How are you doing today?
you: Oy vey…I don’t know where to start. Not too good Jeremy. Not so hot.
Jeremy: Dave, I’ll be glad to help you with your concern.
Jeremy: Could I please know your concern?
you: Well, maybe I should have you speak to my doctor, as this is a rough subject for me. Would you be willing to talk to him?
Jeremy: Dave, I’ll be happy to help, if you had any issues with Overstock.com products.
you: OK, you seem like a nice guy Jeremy. If I tell you what’s going on with me, do you promise not to make fun of me?
Jeremy: I will not.
you: Well, if you refuse to promise, than I don’t know how I can feel comfortable.
Jeremy: Dave, this is a professional chat and I can help you with any issues regarding the Overstock.com.
you: Jeremy, I’m just going to put it out on the table. I can no longer control my tinkles.
Jeremy: Please let me know your concern.
you: Do you understand my condition?
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I’m unable to understand your concern.
you: I tinkle before I have time to get to the tinkletorioum.
you: In my pants.
you: Like a child, Jeremy. Like a tinkling toddler too tinked to toot.
you: Now do you understand?
Jeremy: I understand and I’m sorry.
Jeremy: Please consult a doctor and they should be able to help you.
you: Thank you. Jeremy, I’m sorry to be beating around the bushes, but I’m just beside myself over this.
you: I need protection. I need to feel like I’ve got some sort of control over the situation. I need you to look up catalog number 10718915
Jeremy: Are you referring to the ‘Invacare Large Economy Series Adult Briefs (Case of 72)’ priced at $31.99?

you: yes, can we call them man pants for the sake of this conversation?
Jeremy: Yes, we can call them as man pants.
you: Thank you.
Jeremy: This pants has wetness indicator and multi-strand leg elastics.
you: you mean, the man pants?
Jeremy: Yes, I meant the man pants.
Jeremy: Shall I help you in placing the order for man pants?
you: Please explain how the wetness indicator works. Previously, the indication that I was wet was the puddle around my ankles.
you: Is it digital?
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I do not have exact information on that.
Jeremy: If you need this information, I can send a request to our Specialized Representative to check on this for you.
you: It would seem to me that the way I would know that my man pants were wet, would be that they were wet.
you: You have people that specialize in man pants wetness indicators?
Jeremy: We have Specialized Representative from product department who can check this information for you.
you: Yes, I think I would like to speak to them.
Jeremy: We do not have direct number or email them directly.
Jeremy: I’ll send a request to our Specialized Representative to check on this for you and you will be contacted within 1 – 2 business days via email with the information.
you: great. Please send the e-mail to _________@yahoo.com
Jeremy: Thank you.
you: thank you Jeremy, for being so understanding. You are a giant among men.
Jeremy: You will be contacted within 1 – 2 business days via email with the information.
Jeremy: You’re welcome.
Jeremy: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?      
you: I just want you to know that even though I don’t know you that well, I have love in my heart for you. Thank you, and please terminate this chat before things get too awkward.
Jeremy: I understand
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Somer.
Somer: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Somer, how can I help you?
you: Hi Somer, this is Dave.  How are you?
Somer: I’m fine, thank you for asking.  May I know which product you are inquiring about?
you: Somer, I am a musician.  Have you heard of me?
Somer: I’m sorry, but no I have not.
you: Do you like The Sea Animals?
Somer: I am not aware of them, but I would be happy to look into it when I’m not at work.
you: Oh, let me clarify.  I wasn’t talking about a band called The Sea Animals, but rather, animals that actually live in the sea.
Somer: Yes, I do like them.
you: Me too
you: I actually write and perform my own songs about sea animals outside of the Sea World amusement park.
you: They don’t let me in there anymore….
Somer: That’s fine.  Could you please let me know your specific concern?
you: Shark guitar.
Somer: Are you referring to the ‘Shark Junior Guitar Kit with Amp’ priced at $159.99?

you: That is the one!
Somer: How can I help you with this guitar?
you: Do you sing?
Somer: I am sorry.  Since this chat is professional, I can only answer questions related to Overstock.com.
you: Do you sing at Overstock.com?
Somer: I am sorry, no.  If you have any further questions related to Overstock.com or any of our products, please let me know.
you: Can I sing my songs about sea animals on this guitar?
Somer: That would rely on your own creativity, but my answer to that would be yes.
you: Can I also sing songs that do not pertain to sea animals?  I have been working on this song about lizards.
Somer: If you don’t have any further questions about Overstock.com, I will have to move on to other customers.
you: I actually have a question about something written in the product description: “End your search for the perfect White Elephant gift.”
you: This guitar is clearly shaped like a shark, not an elephant.
Somer:  Thanks for visiting Overstock.com.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

<<Continued>>

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Andre.
Andre: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Andre, how can I help you?
you: Hi Andre. Is Somer there?
you: My name is Dave, and we were disconnected.
Andre: Oh, I am so sorry that the chat conversation with Somer was disconnected.
you: She was assisting me with a product.
Andre: I will be glad to help you from here Dave
you: Is she still there?
you: No offence, I’m sure you are quite capable…
Andre: We do not have an option to transfer the chat to another representative.
you: Oh I see….maybe she can come over to your computer then?
Andre: Oh, I am so sorry that is not possible Dave.
you: Do you know her?
Andre: Yes, I do.
you: Is she close enough to hear you?
Andre: I cannot see her right now.
you: Would you mind yelling out her name, to she if she pops up from her cubicle?
Andre: I will be glad to help you with your concern regarding the Shark Guitar that you were interested in.
you: That’s crazy, I didn’t even tell you what we were talking about. Did she tell you?
you: Is she there?
Andre: Oh, I am so sorry, I just went and checked her cubicle, she was left for the day.
you: Oh my. Thank you for checking. Is she ok?
Andre: Yes, she is very good
you: She wasn’t sick or anything like that, right?
you: I felt like our conversation ended rather abruptly.
Andre: Nothing like that, she was done with her work for the day.
you: Oh. She was really nice.
you: you are too Andre.
you: Thank you for checking on her.
Andre: Would you like me to help you with your concern for the Shark Guitar?
you: Yes please.
Andre: Is it the “Shark Junior Guitar Kit with Amp” for $159.99?
you: Yes….I was confused about something written in the product description. It says that this is the perfect white elephant gift, but this guitar is clearly not shaped like an elephant.
you: It is in fact, shaped like a shark.
Andre: Is it? Let me check that.
you: Yes.
you: I feel like this might be misleading, in case someone is expecting the guitar to be shaped like an elephant, and then what they receive is instead, a guitar shaped like a shark.
Andre: Oh, no it’s not like that.
Andre: A white elephant gift exchange is a popular holiday party game in the North America
you: That’s the continent that I live on.
you: Though, I don’t get invited to very many parties.
you: Well, really…I don’t get invited to any parties Andre.
Andre: Oh, that is something similar we have.
you: You don’t get invited to parties either?
Andre: Even I was not invited to many parties.
you: Oh, I’m sorry.
Andre: Not a problem.
you: Does that make you sad sometimes?
you: I know it makes me sad.
Andre: Yes, sometimes.
you: It’s hard
Andre: Got used to it.
you: I know Andre, but let me just tell you that if I were to throw a party, you would be the first person I would invite.
Andre: Thanks, Dave.
you: No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get use to it.
Andre: I would certainly come to your place.
you: thanks Andre…
you: Maybe you could bring Somer as a date
you: She seems really nice.
Andre: Yes, I need to ask her in that case.
you: Have you been thinking about asking her out?
Andre: Never.
you: Really?
you: How come?
Andre: Yes, actually never had the time to think that way.
you: Yeah I get it…you are all so busy over there.
Andre: Yes.
you: Did you have your eye on someone else?
Andre: Not really.
you: How about Rachel?
you: She helped me with a comforter that I ended up buying.
you: She seemed really nice…
Andre: Yes.
you: You know her, right?
Andre: Okay, I need to go even I am done for the day.
you: Oh OK, Hey Andre are you going to celebrate the New Year tonight?
Andre: Yes, that’s for sure.
Andre: I need to go back home, my mother would be waiting for me for the dinner.
you: Ok, happy New Year…it was great talking with you.
Andre: Same there.
Andre: However, only few of my friends will be there with me.
you: Just a few friends is all you need!
Andre: Yes, that is enough for me to celebrate the New Year.
you: Great.
Andre: My Mom would be with us.
you: Can’t get too crazy with mom around.
Andre: Yes, that’s true.
you: ok, bye now
Andre: Okay, need to leave else I will miss my bus.
you: Go Andre. Go to your bus, and ride it into a prosperous new year.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Barclay.
Barclay: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Barclay, how can I help you?
you: Hi Barclay
you: this is Dave, how are you?
Barclay: Hello, how may I help you?
you: Barclay, that is a beautiful name.
Barclay: I’m glad you liked it.
you: I still do too.
you: I am shopping tonight
Barclay: That’s great.
Barclay: I’ll check on that and help you.
you: I am viewing products on your website!
you: There are so many to choose from!
Barclay: Are you looking for something specific, I can certainly help you find the best one for you?
you: Wow!
you: Yeah, I want the best things you have Barclay!
you: I want you to find the best!
Barclay: Sure.
Barclay: What are you looking for?
you: something soft
you: something new
you: something fun
you: something blue
Barclay: Great, do you know the name of the product?
you: I’m having trouble remembering it right now
Barclay: Alright. Do you know the features of the product, so that I can locate it due to it’s features?
you: Well, I did a search using my credentials, and only found one product.
you: item # 11596834
Barclay: Is that the ‘Mephisto Cacilia Skye Blue Suede/White Smooth/Silver’ for $168.24?

you: Yes, the blue suede shoes!
you: They’re lovely
Barclay: Yes, indeed. The uppers is made from soft leather and suede with micro-perforation on side panels.
you: There is no question that these shoes are beautiful.
you: I’d almost be afraid of owning them though
you: I mean, what if someone stepped on them?
Barclay: I understand. I’m checking on this for you.
you: Wow, really?
you: How do you do that?
Barclay: I see that this item has soft leather and suede with micro-perforation on side panels upper due to which there may no impact on the product if an individual steps on the product.
you: I live by a pretty simple philosophy….
you: You can do anything, but lay off of my blue suede shoes.
Barclay: I understand.
you: You know what I’m saying Barclay?
Barclay: Yes, I clearly see the point you’re making.
Barclay: You are concerned about people stepping on your shoes.
you: Yeah, you get it man.
you: People tend to make things so complicated sometimes.
you: They don’t have to though…you know?
Barclay: I understand.
you: The problem is, you can’t control people.
you: They are just going to do whatever they want, whenever they want, no matter who’s shoes they are stepping on.
Barclay: I understand your concern Dave.
you: You know something Barclay?
you: I’ve never even owned a pair of blue suede shoes before, and as a result I’ve never even had to have my own convictions tested.  Maybe it’s for the best…
Barclay: Well, since you have never owned a pair blue, I think it’s the right time to invest in pair of blue shoes and this ‘Mephisto Cacilia Skye Blue Suede/White Smooth/Silver’ would make a fine product to start investing.
you: Well, when you put it that way….
you: I never thought of a pair of shoes as an investment. Are we talking long term here?
you: I mean, what kind of return could I expect?
Barclay: Well, to start with, this pair would make you look gorgeous and is definitely an update to your wardrobe.
you: My wardrobe could use an update.
Barclay: Well, would you like me to place the order?
you: Barclay, I’d like for nothing more, however I think I’m going to sleep on it.  I mean, these ARE woman’s shoes, and I don’t think I should just jump right into a big investment without thinking about it for a bit.
Barclay: Then, is there anything else I can help you with today?
Dave: Stay gold pony boy.  Stay gold.
Barclay: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, have a good time.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Erick.
Erick: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Erick, how can I help you?
you: Hi Erick
you: my name is Dave
you: how are you?
Erick: Hi Dave.
Erick: I am fine thank you.
Erick: How about you?
you: I’m doing super great, thanks
Erick: How may I help you today?
you: You know Erick…I find it interesting that your name ends in a “c” AND a “k”
you: I know a few other people with your name, and usually they end it with one or the other
you: but you have both!
Erick: Thank you.
you: you’re super welcome
you: It’s almost like, I want to pronounce it harder, you know?
you: Like with an exclamation point!!
you: Erick!
you: you know what I mean?
you: like really dig into it…
you: anyway, I know you are busy so I won’t take up too much of your time.
Erick: Okay, Not a problem.
Erick: How can I help you today?
you: So, let me tell you a little something about me…
you: I am obsessed with zebras
you: Love them and can’t get enough!
you: They are like horses, but better!
Erick: I will be glad to check and help you with that.
you: Do you like Zebras Erick?
Erick: Yes, I do.
Erick: Just to confirm are you referring to the ‘Handmade Zebra Print Wool Rug (3’6 x 5’6)’ priced at $104.99?
you: How did you know that?
you: I hadn’t even given you the catalog number!
you: you and me man, we are on the same wave length here.
you: Yes, it’s absolutely exquisite
Erick: When you visit Live Chat through our website, we are able to view the items you were recently looking to better assist you.
you: Wow…I had no idea.
you: Actually, I feel a little awkward now.
you: kind of like patriot act type stuff going on over there
Erick: I apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused.
you: inconvenience is not the right word…
you: It’s more like I feel violated
you: I mean, kind of…
you: don’t worry, lets not make a big deal about this
Erick: Okay.
you: So, have you ever had the pleasure of seeing or touching a zebra up close?
Erick: I certainly understand your concern. However, I have not seen or touched the zebra up close.
you: You really should if you ever get the chance
Erick: Sure.
Erick: May I please know your concern about the ‘Handmade Zebra Print Wool Rug (3’6 x 5’6)’?

you: Not every one knows this but the word Zebra is derived from the Portuguese word “zevra” which means wild ass.
you: Did you know that Erick?
Erick: No, I didn’t know that. Thank you for the information.
Erick: Can I please know your concern about this rug?
you: Also, like horses, zebras walk, trot, canter and gallop.
you: But they tend to be a little slower…
you: That’s probably why they are so easy to catch, and then made into rugs.
Erick: Okay.
you: Not for the zebra
you: But listen to me…I’m rambling on and on and on
you: I’m so sorry for that Erick
you: I’m here to shop and to ask questions about the zebra rug.
Erick: Sure, not a problem.
Erick: Can I please know your concern?
you: So, here’s the deal…I already have leopard print drapes
you: do you think it would look okay to have the zebra rug in the same room?
you: In other words, is it okay with you that the carpet won’t match the drapes?
Erick: I certainly understand your concern. However, the ‘Handmade Zebra Print Wool Rug (3’6 x 5’6)’ should be okay in the same room.
you: Even along side the leopard print drapes?
you: You don’t think it will clash?
Erick: I understand your concern. It may not clash.
you: Well, I don’t know if it’s the extra consonant in your name, but you have an air of confidence about you, that makes me trust your opinion to no end.
Erick: Thank you.
you: I have only one more question about the zebra rug…
Erick: Sure, can I please know your question?
you: was the animal slaughtered in a humane fashion, and was this done at your office?
Erick: Please note that this rug is not made up of original zebra skin. It is made up of New Zealand wool and cotton. 
you: So, it was a sheep that was slaughtered then?
Erick: Yes, it is made up of New Zealand wool and cotton.
you: Was the sheep slaughtered in a humane fashion?
Erick: I am sorry to tell you that we do not have that information. According to our available resources the item is made up of New Zealand wool and cotton.
you: Is it then possible, that no animals were harmed during or subsequently to the creation of this rug?
Erick: Yes, that’s correct. No animals might not have been harmed during the creation of this rug.
you: Oh.
Erick: Hope this information was helpful to you.
you: Well, I seemed to have lost interest suddenly.
you: I guess that’s good to know.
you: It seems like if you want to get a dead animal into your living room these days, you’ve got to slaughter it yourself!
Erick: I am sorry to tell you that we do not have items made up of dead animals on our site.
you: and I’m sorry to hear that. Really sorry.
Erick: We appreciate your business and apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused. You’re a valued customer, and we’re committed to providing you with the best service possible.
Erick: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Thank you for valuing me Erick.
you: I will leave you now, respectfully.
you: Many thanks.
Erick: You’re most welcome.
Erick: Its been a pleasure chatting with you.
you: and also with you
Erick: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a nice day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Joeanne.
Joeanne: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Joeanne, how can I help you?
you: Hi Joeanne
you: My name is Dave
you: How are you?
Joeanne: Hi Dave.
Joeanne: I am doing good, thank you for asking.
you: You all set for the holidays?
you: I know I am…almost!
Joeanne: Yes we are.
you: I actually did a lot better than I thought I would…mainly because I found so many bargains on Overstock!
Joeanne: Great.
you: it must be as busy as Santa’s workshop over there at the Overstock.com factory!
Joeanne: Yes we are quite busy with the orders.
you: Well, I’ll try not to keep you tied up too long, so that you can get to those other needy customers.  Animals.
Joeanne: Sure.
Joeanne: How can I help you today?
you: Joeanne, I am a fourth grade teacher at a public school, and I was hoping to find a few new books to keep in my classroom for the Spring.
Joeanne: Great.
you: Overstock has so many great books, I started to get a little overwhelmed in my search.
Joeanne: I see.  Yes we have many great books for your needs.
you: This year, my students seem to be a little more mature than some of my previous classes, so I thought I would step it up a little.
Joeanne: Alright, what are you looking for?
you: Well, I was wondering if you knew anything about Item#: 11422906.
Joeanne: I’ll check.
you: Thanks Joeanne.
Joeanne: Are you referring to the ‘Lord of the Forest (Paperback)’ for $9.23?

you: Yes.
you: Have you read it?
Joeanne: I am sorry I haven’t.
you: It sounds intersting: “As Pagan revelers dance naked in the firelight, summoning the lord of their deepest desires to appear in the shadows, Linnea, the ethereal goddess of the hunt, finally sees Marius`s true self, a transformation that traps her in a world of extreme ecstasy”
Joeanne: I read that. However, I don’t have much information on that.
you: That’s ok. I’m thinking of one student inparticular, little Timmy, who really likes the Lord Of the Rings. This book appears to have a forest, so I’ll add it to my cart.
Joeanne: Sure, you can do that.
you: Joeanne, I was also wondering if you knew anything about Item#: 10608524.
Joeanne: Is it regarding the ‘Lord of the Deep’ for $9.23?

you: Yes.
Joeanne: Thank you. I am sorry I don’t have information on that.
you: Right, I noticed there was no description, but there is a man that appears to be swimming in the ocean.
you: My students LOVE oceanography, so I think maybe I’ll get this one for classroom too.
Joeanne: Sure.
you: Joeanne, are you at all aware of Item#: 11046382?
Joeanne: The ‘Nauti Dreams’ for $9.65?

you: Yes.
you: That’s the one.
Joeanne: I am sorry I do not have much information on these.
you: That’s OK….This one just has a shirtless man on the cover. Seems a little inapropriate for kids anyway. Do you agree?
Joeanne: I feel it is a little inappropriate for kids.
you: Yeah totally. Good call Joeanne.
Joeanne: Did you have any other questions for me, or anything else I can help you with today?
you: Since they will have just returned from Christmas break, I think they may still be pretty jazzed on Santa. What do you know about Item#: 11173420?
Joeanne: The ‘Have Yourself a Naughty Little Santa (Paperback)’ for $6.92?

you: That’s the one.
you: Have you read it?
Joeanne: I am sorry I have not read it.
you: You shouldn’t have to apologize for not having read this book. However, since you did, I will accept your apology.
Joeanne: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome!
you: I think I’ll go ahead and pick this one up for the kids too, because it seems Christmas-y : )
you: Joeanne, you have been a wonderful help to me today.
Joeanne: Thank you.
you: I really appreciate all your recommendations for my 4th grade classroom library.
Joeanne: Thank you.
Joeanne: Is there anything else you’d like to ask me?
you: Well, since you are doing so well….do you have any further recommendations for my students?
Joeanne: I am sorry I don’t.
Joeanne: You can search for the items on  your choice on our web site.
you: Joeanne, is Gavin working today?
you: He helped me with a ladder inquiry a few weeks ago.
Joeanne: I am sorry I do not know.
you: Oh, I guess you don’t all know one another?
Joeanne: I do know him, however, I do not know if he is working today. Is there any message that you want to convey?
you: Yes. Please tell him that everything worked out with Craig, and that he was able to get me down off the roof.
Joeanne: Sure.
Joeanne: Do you have other questions I can answer for you?
you: Do you know Jaron too?
you: He also helped me not too long ago with a pet stroller that I was looking at….
Joeanne: Yes I do.
you: Oh great. He’s a really nice guy.
you: I was sad when our conversation was cut short, but Lloyd did a nice job picking up where Jaron left off.
you: I’m a pretty big Rachel fan too.
Joeanne: Thank you.
Joeanne: We believe a satisfied customer is key to success and we go great heights for customer satisfaction.
you: This is your belief system?
Joeanne: Yes.
you: I believe in you Joanne.
Joeanne: Thank you.
Joeanne: I’m happy to help. Do you have other questions I can answer for you?
you: No thanks Joeanne. Thank you so much for your help. The kids are going to love their new books!!
Joeanne: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com.

Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jaron.
Jaron: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, my name is Jaron, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jaron. My name is Dave.
you: How are you feeling?
Jaron: Hi Dave.
Jaron: I am feeling fine, how about you?
you: I’d prefer not to tell you that.
you: Is that OK?
Jaron: Ok not a problem.
Jaron: Dave, how can I help you today?
you: unless…do you really want to know Jaron?
you: about how I am feeling?
Jaron: Yes please.
you: …I am feeling pretty good.
Jaron: That’s great to hear.
you: 123 happy as can be!
you: I am interested in spending $1,254.06 today on your web site.
you: can you help me do that?
Jaron: I’ll be glad to help you with that.
you: great. where should we start?
Jaron: Can I have the catalog number of the item which you wish to purchase please?
you: yes…just a moment.
Jaron: Sure, I’ll wait.
you: Catalog #: 10257795
Jaron: Are you with me?
you: um…yes…why do you ask?
Jaron: Thank you for the catalog number.
you: you are super welcome.
Jaron: Just to confirm, are you referring to the ‘Kittywalk Double Decker Pet Stroller’?

you: yes. this is for taking your cats for walks, correct?
Jaron: Thank you for the confirmation.
you: you are super welcome.
Jaron: Do you wish me to place this order for you?
you: I have a question about it…
you: it says under the description that it can double as a portable grooming table for last minute grooming at the pet shows
Jaron: Yes it can double as a portable grooming table.
you: Right, but don’t you think that anyone that is so into their cat they enter them into a cat show, would have thought to do the grooming ahead of time?
you: are you with me Jaron?
There may be a problem communicating with Jaron. Please wait while your chat is transferred to another operator.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Lloyd.
Lloyd: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Lloyd, how can I help you?
you: Jaron? What happened to Jaron?
Lloyd: Hi there.
you: Is he OK?
you: Jaron?
Lloyd: I’m sorry, due to technical error the chat got disconnected.
Lloyd: Yes, he is ok.
Lloyd: How can I help you?
you: That is a load off. I was really worried for a minute there.
you: you are sure he’s going to be alright?
Lloyd: Yes, he is fine.
you: Can I talk to him?
Lloyd: Thank you for your concern.
Lloyd: I’m sorry, I will be unable to transfer the chat.
Lloyd: I’ll be glad to help you.
you: That’s ok I guess. Just as long as I have your word that you wont lay a hand on him.
you: Do i have your word?
Lloyd: May I know your concern in regards to Overstock.com?
you: Lloyd. Right now my only concern in regards to Overstock.com is a young man named Jaron who works there.
you: Once I have your word that Jaron will not be harmed, then we can proceed with my shopping.
Lloyd: The chat was disconnected due to technical error and Jaron will not be harmed.
you: great…so about that cat show thing…
you: don’t you think that anyone who is so into their cat, they enter them into a cat show, would have thought to do the grooming ahead of time?
you: this is in regards to it being advertised as a last minute grooming platform for pet shows.
Lloyd: Could you please provide me the catalog number or the complete name of the item that you are referring to?
you: it’s the Kittywalk Double Decker Pet Stroller
you: Catalog #: 10257795
Lloyd: Thank you.
you: you are super welcome
Lloyd: After reviewing the item is see that the item can double as a portable grooming table for last minute grooming at the pet shows. The last minute grooming will be just a touch up.
Lloyd: Would you like me to place the order for you?
you: Can you tell me what kinds of things would need to be done to the animal during the last minute touch up?
Lloyd: I’m sorry, I don’t have that information.
you: probably cut it’s balls off…right man?
Lloyd: I’ll be forced to terminate the chat if you continue this way.
you: Which way is that?
Lloyd: I’m sorry, this is a professional chat and will be glad to help you with any concerns regarding an item.
you: I think you’ve got the wrong impression of me. You see, I’m the kind of guy who makes his cats wear sweaters.
Lloyd: I do understand your concern. However, I don’t information regarding last minute grooming.
Lloyd: Is there anything else, I can help you with today?
you: Thank you Llyod, but no…You’ve done enough.
Lloyd: You are welcome.
Lloyd: Thanks so much for visiting Overstock.com.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Rubin.
Rubin: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Rubin, how can I help you?
you: Hi Rubin…my name is Dave
you: How are you?
Rubin: I’m doing good. Thank you.
Rubin: How can I help you today?
you: Great…
you: Rubin, do you have any Christian friendly mp3 players?
you: I didn’t see any when I looked…
Rubin: I’ll be glad to check and help you with that.
you: Thanks so much.
Rubin: You are welcome.
Rubin: I found the ‘SanDisk Sansa Clip 2GB MP3 Player with FM (Refurbished)’ priced at $29.99 which would meet your needs.
Rubin: Please click here to view this ‘SanDisk Sansa Clip 2GB MP3 Player with FM (Refurbished)’:
Rubin: Did you get the link of ‘SanDisk Sansa Clip 2GB MP3 Player with FM (Refurbished)’?

you: It’s very nice…but is it something that a good Christian would buy?
you: My son has been begging for an ipod, but I’m not comfortable with that…those awful commercials.
Rubin: Yes, you can purchase this item.
Rubin: Due to the nature of our business, please keep in mind that our products may sell out quickly.
Rubin: I recommend you to purchase it as soon as possible as we cannot guarantee prices or availability.
Rubin: Would you like to place the order for this item today?
you: Thanks for the tip
Rubin
you: Not quite yet…
Rubin: You are welcome.
Rubin: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: So, I’m worried about my son listening to rock & roll music…
you: Will this item play rock & roll?
Rubin: You can add your desired music and play it.
Rubin: Because of the great deals we offer, many of our products sell out very quickly. Hence, I recommend you to purchase it as soon as possible as we cannot guarantee prices or availability.
Rubin: Do you have any additional questions that I can help you with today?
you: I guess what I need, is an mp3 plays that plays inspirational Christian music…
you: I need it to not play rock & roll…
you: I only want my son listening to music that furthers his devotion to Christ.
Rubin: Yes, if you download inspirational Christian Music to the MP3, it will play.
you: How can I be sure that it will not play rock & roll music?
Rubin: If you do not download any rock and roll music to MP3, it would not play rock and roll music.
you: I see…
you: And how would I do that?
Rubin: The MP3 would play music only which you download to MP3.
you: So, this mp3 player…it plays rock and roll music?
Rubin: You need to have a PC and music to download shows to MP3.
you: Inspirational Christian shows?
you: I don’t want him watching nude sex parties.
Rubin: Okay.
Rubin: Would you need my help in placing the order or wish to place the order on your own?
you: not just yet..
Rubin: If you have any further questions, please let me know?
you: Rubin, does this mp3 player have nude sex party capabilities?Rubin: No, it does not play any pictures.
Rubin: It can only play audio formats: MP3, WMA, Audible.
you: That’s good.
you: Rubin, I do not want my son listening to any rock & roll.
you: Does this mp3 player play rock & roll music?
Rubin: If you download only Inspirational Christian songs to this MP3 player, it will play only Inspirational Christian songs.
Rubin: If you download rock and roll songs to this MP3 player, it will play rock and roll songs.
Rubin: The MP3 player will plays songs or music which you download to this MP3 player.
Rubin: Did I answer your question?
you: So, my son will listen to rock & roll if I get this for him?
Rubin: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Lane.
Lane: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Lane, how can I help you?
you: Hi Lane….this is Dave
you: how are you?
Lane: Hello Dave.
Lane: I’m fine and thanks for asking.
Lane: How may I help you today?
you: That’s a really good question
you: first I’d like to make a comment about overstock.com
you: if that’s ok
Lane: Sure, go ahead.
you: I really like it.
Lane: That’s great.
you: Thank you. Now, Can we discuss Item#: 11046132?
Lane: Sure, can I please know your concern?
you: Yes Lane….this is a little awkward, but please bear with me.
you: So, you are looking at the web page for the Inflatable Large Floating Toy, yes?
Lane: Yes, the item “Inflatable Large Floating Toy” priced at $17.99.

you: Yes, that’s the one.
you: Do you see the picture of the woman and the child playing in the pool?
Lane: Yes, I see that.
you: OK, well, she’s my ex-wife.
Lane: I’m really sorry about that.
you: That makes two of us Lane.
you: That’s not really her kid by the way…I don’t know who that kid is.
you: Here’s the thing….she won’t return my e-mails or calls, and I need to get a hold of her.
you: she still owes me $237.
Lane: I understand that and sorry about that.
Lane: Do you have concern related to Overstock.com service?
you: Absolutely.
you: Since she’s obviously working there now, I was wondering if you could track her down for me.
Lane: I’m sorry, we are unable to find our colleague details.
you: Trust me, she’s not worth protecting Lane. She’s a total Bee Eye Tea Sea H if you catch my meaning
you: I understand that you can’t just go looking for her file or anything, I wouldn’t want you to risk your job for that…
Lane: My apology, do you have any further questions for me today?
you: but if you happen to run into her in the break room, could you just tell her that I need to speak with her?
you: …and that I need my effing $237?
you: would you do that for me please Lane?
Lane: I can’t assure you on that.
Lane: Please let me know if you have any other questions?
you: Thanks so much….hey, you wouldn’t happen to know if she’s seeing anyone right now, would you?
Lane: No, I would not be able to check on that.
Lane: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a Great Day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.

 Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Gerald.
Gerald: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Gerald, how can I help you?
you: Hi Gerald. My name is Dave.
you: How are you today?
Gerald: Hi there.
you: Are you doing well?
Gerald: I am doing great.
you: So glad to hear it!
Gerald: Thanks for asking.
you: You are super welcome Gerald.
Gerald: Thank you so much.
you: Are you all ready for the Holidays?
Gerald: I am sorry, we are not authorized to give personal information.
Gerald: Please let me know if I can help you further.
you: Oh. I’m so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.
Gerald: That’s okay.
you: I am new to the internet, so I don’t know all the etiquette.
Gerald: That’s okay.
you: Actually, I’m glad that you made me aware of this, because I have recently discovered how to “chat” with old friends on facebook. I have been asking everyone I know if they are ready for the holidays.
you: I must look like a complete jerk.
Gerald: No you are not, how may I help you today?
you: Thank you Gerald. Thank you for saying that.
Gerald: My pleasure.
Gerald: Is there anything else I may help you with?
you: Just so I’m clear about this, am I authorized to share personal information with you if it will help you assist me better?
you: I just don’t want to step on any toes.
Gerald: I am sorry, if you have anything to ask me about Overstock.com, I can help you.
you: Oh I do, certainly I do.
Gerald: Can I please know what your query is?
you: So, I am getting ready for the holidays, but the most important one to me is not Christmas or New Years.
you: It is in fact, my dog’s birthday.
Gerald: Is there anything else I may help you with today?
you: Yes, thank you.
you: Gerald, I am looking at a gift to give to my dog for his birthday.
you: Could you assist me with that?
Gerald: What are you looking for?
you: I had my eye on Item#: 11399633
you: He’s a really good boy by the way…
Gerald: Are you referring to the ‘JLT Pets Navy Police Rain Coat for Dogs’ priced at $19.99?
you: Yes! Isn’t it adorable?

Gerald: Would you like me to place an order for this?
 
you: Isn’t it adorable Gerald? 
you: I think my dog would look amazing in that outfit.
 
Gerald: I am sorry, but can you please tell me if this is going to take time? 
you: Gerald
you: Do you have any pets?
Gerald: I am sorry, but I would have to move on to other customers now. Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: I still require your help with this product.
you: Please do not leave me just yet.
Gerald: If you tell me what exactly you want and what kind of assistance you need, I can stay online.
you: Sure….my question is this: Once my dog is wearing the police outfit, will he actually have the same authority that a police officer would have?
you: Will he be able to arrest people?
Gerald: I am sorry, but I don’t understand your question. 
you: When my dog is wearing the police raincoat, will he be considered an actual police dog?
Gerald: You can dress him in the coat.
you: Right, I know Gerald.  Once I’ve done that, will he actually be working for the police department, or will he still be considered a civilian?
you: There may be certain items lying around the house that could create a conflict of interest between his home life, and his professional life.
Gerald: Is there anything else I may help you with today?
you: I mean, I know he’s loyal to me, but he’s also extremely ethical.  I just don’t want to put him in a bad position. 
you: Gerald, I’m going to have to pass on the police raincoat for my dog.  He’s getting a bone, end of story.
Gerald: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jessica.
Jessica: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jessica, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jessica. My name is Dave. How are you?
Jessica: Hi Dave, how can I help you today?
you: Well, I’m shopping online. You have so many wonderful products by the way…
Jessica: Thanks. That’s great hear from you.
you: It must be difficult to be working around all of those wonderful products all of the time. You must feel like shopping every minute!
Jessica: Thanks. May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
you: You’re super welcome Jessica.
you: Yes, I am interested in Catalog number 11387958.
Jessica: Just to confirm, are you referring to ‘iRobot Roomba Cordless Vacuum (Refurbished)’ priced at $156.99?

you: Yes.
Jessica: Thanks for confirming the item.
Jessica: Thanks. Can I help you place an order for this item?
you: Probably Jessica, but first I have some concerns, that perhaps you can help me work through.
Jessica: Yes, may I know your concern please?
you: The first is this…the description says that the roomba is ideal for cleaning pet hair
you: That’s great, but I don’t think my cats will like being poked and prodded by a robot.
you: Also, since they are cats, they are very hygienic naturally. So, I don’t think I want the robot cleaning their hair.
Jessica: I checked and see that this item does not poke your cats.
you: Oh that’s good. Does it use some sort of gentle pet brush?
Jessica: Yes, there is a brushes comes along with this.
you: Can the robot be programmed to just leave the cats alone?
Jessica: I’m sorry, please do not leave the cats alone robot be programmed.
you: Wow, don’t leave them alone with the robot? I wanted to leave it to do its thing while I was away at work.
Jessica: Cats do not like robots, so I telling you supervise only.
you: This sounds like maybe there is a larger problem here.
Jessica: You will be receiving the manual how to use this product.  Shall I proceed in placing order?
you: Not just yet…Jessica, were I to bring this cyborg into my home, would it be at all possible that it could revolt against me and take me hostage? I’ve seen a lot of situations like that.  I’ve never actually heard of a situation where that didn’t happen.
you: You think they’re 3 laws safe, and BAM…they gotcha.
you: Next thing you know, they’ve got complete control, and your toaster and microwave have got you cornered in the laundry room.
Jessica: It has sophisticated sensing software adjusts behavior over 67 times a second.
you: Exactly my point.  That’s way faster than I can react.  Two seconds have gone by and this thing has changed its mind 134 times!
Jessica: It’s ideal for cleaning pet hair.
you: So I hear…it sounds like they’ve already gotten to you my friend.
Jessica: Do you have any further questions to me?
you: would it be appropriate to perhaps give it a name of its own?
you: Like, Kevin?
you: Or maybe, Mitch?
Jessica: Yes, if you wish to, you can surely give it a name.
you: Can the robot be programmed to feel love?
Jessica: No, you be unable to do that.
Jessica: Do you have any further questions to me?
you: Just take care Jessica….be safe.  I’m opting out now.  I suppose that a race of atificially intelligent computer controlled machines hell bent on the extermination of the entire human race is inevitable, but for now, I’ll stick to my broom and dust pan.  Thanks for your help.
Jessica: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Lisa.
Lisa: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Lisa, how can I help you?
you: Hi Lisa…My name is Dave. How are you?
Lisa: Hi Dave, I am fine. Thank you.
Lisa: How are you?
you: TGIF! You know what I mean?!?
Lisa: I am sorry, please be more specific.
you: TGIF means Thank Goodness it’s Friday. You’ve never heard of TGIF?
Lisa: I am sorry.
you: In America, it’s one of those surface uncomfortable things we say to co-workers we feel awkward around.
you: It’s like discussing the weather.
you: We do a lot of funny things in America.
you: …but I digress
Lisa: Okay.
you: Could you assist me with some questions regarding catalog number 10828457?
Lisa: Sure, I will be glad to help you with your concern.
you: sweet
Lisa: Are you referring to the ’14-inch Pillow Top Queen Size Memory Foam Mattress’ priced at $539.99?

you: yes.
Lisa: Thank you.
you: you are super welcome
Lisa: Please let me know your concern to help you better.
you: Sure thing…
you: You see Lisa, I receive regular treatments from my personal acupuncturist. She relies heavily on finding my pressure points in order to relieve the stress that builds up as a result of my career as an assistant manager at Applebee’s.
you: There is a note that says Uncomfortable pressure-points common in most innerspring mattresses is eliminated
you: Should I be concerned that this mattress will eliminate my need for acupuncture all together?  She’s really hot.
you: What say you?
Lisa: Let me check that for you.
you: thank you Lisa.
Lisa: We are unable to suggest as to acupuncturist points are removed or not because of   Uncomfortable pressure-points common in most innerspring mattresses is eliminated
you: thank you for researching.
Lisa: You are welcome and its my pleasure to help you today.  
Lisa: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: yes…
you: it says here that the mattress was originally designed for NASA. I have very little actual experience in zero gravity, granted more than most, but very little still. Do you think this could be a problem?
you: Sleeping is very important to me.
Lisa: No, it should not be a problem.
you: I like dreams
Lisa: I am sorry about that.
you: This mattress…it is alive, yes? Is that why is says Unique Memory Foam mattress will provide deep, relaxing sleep?
you: It remembers things?
Lisa: This memory mattress provide relaxing sleep in that sense it is unique.
you: so, it’s alive?
Lisa: Yes.
you: So to be clear, this mattress actually has consciousness?
Lisa: Yes.
Lisa: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?
you: I understand Lisa. This mattress is made up of the same organic materials that make up you and I. I certainly did not expect to discover such an amazing leap in our world’s evolution today while shopping on your site. I am pleased.
you: One more question…
you: I never dreamed that I would be asking this but, will the mattress mind that I’m sleeping on it?
Lisa: No.
you: It won’t be disturbed by my snoring?
Lisa: No, It will not.
Lisa: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Yes, god I have so many questions…this is absolutely fascinating.
you: So, do I need to feed the mattress?
Lisa: No.
Lisa: Please go ahead and place the order.
you: What do you think I should name it?
Lisa: Yes, if you wish you can give it a pet name.
you: Can I request male or female?
Lisa: I’m sorry, we do not have that option
you: I’m going to name it Lisa.
Lisa: I’m really sorry, if you have any other question related to Overstock.com, please let me know.
you: No thanks Lisa….you have been wonderful!  This has been amazing.  Amazing.
Lisa: Thanks a lot.
Lisa: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Bruce.
Bruce: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Bruce, how can I help you?
you: Hi Bruce. This is Dave. How are you today?
Bruce: Hi I’m doing fine. Thank you for asking.
Bruce: How may I help you today?
you: Bruce, I have a daughter who was born with only an abdomen, and a head. So, no legs, no arms. I’m looking for something that might help her get a little exercise.
Bruce: I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll check that information for you.
you: Thank you. It’s a pretty tough life she has to live. I mean, with no arms or legs, she kind of just bobs around…you know?
you: She’s a real sweet heart though.
Bruce: Yes, I absolutely understand her condition.
you: I had my eye on catalog 10623778
Bruce: Are you referring to the “Bally Core Sculpting System” priced at $33.99?

you: Yes Bruce.
you: I was thinking about how my daughter is nothing but core, and how this might be a good choice.
Bruce: Core sculpting system is ideal for her workout. This kit includes ball with pump, power band, slimmer belt and DVD.  
Bruce: Inflatable ball is designed to tone, trim, and tighten abdominal, lower back, and leg muscles.
you: probably not the leg muscles in her case.
you: She does have a lower back though.  Then nothing below that.
Bruce: This product does come with a 20-minute training DVD which provides step-by-step exercise routines.
you: she loves movies!
you: As long as I work the remote of course…
you: though she does do this tongue thing…but I discourage it for sanitary reasons
you: you understand right Bruce?
Bruce: Yes, I understand that.
you: do you think you could keep the ankle/wrist cuffs? I mean, she obviously won’t use them. Perhaps we could work out a discount?
Bruce: We deal in liquidated merchandize and we do sell our products at best discounted prices.
Bruce: You will have to purchase this item for the price mentioned on our site and will have to purchase the complete set.
you: Oh I see Bruce. Does this policy also apply to little girls who consist of nothing more than an abdomen and a head?
Bruce: I understand your daughter’s condition. However, we’ll not be able to sell this item without the ankle/wrist cuffs.
Bruce: Do you still want me to help you in placing an order?
you: I understand Bruce. I can tell that you are a compassionate man, one whose hands are tied by a policy forced upon you by a bureaucratic organization.  Standardized policies, formal division of powers, hierarchy, yada yada yada….
Bruce: Yes, exactly
you: maybe I’ll just go with the trampoline catalog 953866
Bruce: Are you referring to the “Tot Master 6’6 Round Trampoline” priced at $161.99?

you: Yes….it claims to have “great bounce” and the customer reviews are ecstatic
Bruce: May I have your email address to place this order for you?
you: sure…just a moment. Really quick though…if I do buy this trampoline, do you think I can just throw my daughter onto it, and walk away while she continues to bounce, or will I need to stick around and kind of dribble her?
Bruce: For safety reasons, it is recommended that you are near your child when she is bouncing on this Trampoline.
you: I thought so. Bruce, I thank you for your help….and will place the order without your assistance. Thank you and have a nice day.
Bruce: You are welcome. It’s my pleasure to help you.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jeremy.
Jeremy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jeremy, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jeremy…my name is Dave.
you: How are you?
Jeremy: I’m doing great, thanks.
Jeremy: How are you doing today?
you: Pretty great. I hope you are having a really nice 2009.
Jeremy: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome,
Jeremy: How may I help you today?
you: Jeremy, I do have a few questions with regards to quite possibly the most intriguing item I have ever seen for sale on your site.
you: It has been assigned a catalog number of 10048158
you: Here is the link, for my readers: http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Hug-Me-Pillow/1676854/product.html
you: I mean, for you.
Jeremy: I’ll be glad to help you with the product information.
Jeremy: Are you referring to the ‘Hug Me Pillow’ priced at $26.99?

you: Yes, I am.
you: What do you think of it?
Jeremy: Its a great pillow.
you: It’s basically an abdomen, and a left arm.
Jeremy: We have sold thousands of these pillows and we got wonderful feedback from Customers.
you: Yeah, I was reading some of the reviews.
you: Here’s one:
you: “I LOVE the hug-me pillow. I sleep with 5 of them, it makes me feel like i’m in bed with a whole family.I’ve always felt there was something missing in my life, a void. I can’t explain it but I now feel like one complete person. thank you hug me pillow!”
Jeremy: Yes, it gives you a human feel.
you: Or a partial human anyway, right?
Jeremy: Yes
you: Jeremy, would you feel comfortable taking a snooze with this thing?
Jeremy: I haven’t tried it so I can’t say how will I feel.
you: Can you speculate, how it might make you feel?
Jeremy: I’m a guy and I may not like it.
you: I am a guy too. What difference does that make?
you: Women prefer dismantled carcasses more than men?
Jeremy: I read one of the reviews and it states that this pillow looks like brad pitt’s chest.
Jeremy: I will not take it.
you: Nor should you Jeremy.  Nor should you.
Jeremy: Maybe for some guys but not for me.
you: That Brad Pitt, hits you like a ton of bricks though. Even you can admit to that.
Jeremy: I don’t judge him in that way
you: Really, he’s a stunning man though.  You can see that, right?
Jeremy: I agree he is handsome.
you: That’s good Jeremy. See, we don’t have to worry about anybody questioning our orientation. I prefer women, but he’s a seriously hot fucking creature.
Jeremy: Would you like to purchase the pillow?
you: I mean, if I had to….you know…. with a man…well I think we can both see where this is going.
Jeremy: I’m sorry, this is a professional chat.
you: You know what, let’s forget about the creepy pillow for now.
you: Do you guys have any specials on the “Oceans 13″ DVD?
Jeremy: Let me check on the dvd’s.
Jeremy: Ocean 11 and 12 were great movies.
you: I agree. Did you see Oceans 13 yet?
Jeremy: Not yet.
Jeremy: I have found a ‘Ocean’s Eleven / Twelve / Thirteen Giftset (DVD)’, would you like view it?

you: Yes, I’d like to view it more than anything.
Jeremy: Please click here to view the dvd
Jeremy: Did you get the link?
you: Yeah, and all I can say is, wow.
you: That Clooney…there’s another one for ya….smokin hot.
Jeremy: Shall I help you in placing the order?
you: Bro, I think I’m going to have to get this for my girlfriend. She will love it.
you: You can ship it to my attention though, right?
Jeremy: I’m sure she will love it.
Jeremy: Yes, I can do that.
you: Yeah, she will. She will a lot.
you: OK man, I’m gonna let you go. I can take it from here if you know what I mean.
Jeremy: Sure.
Jeremy: Would you like me help in placing the order?
you: It’s cool, I’m going to take my time with this baby…if you catch my drift.
Jeremy: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?      
you: Nope, thank you Jeremy.
Jeremy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Junior.
Junior: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Junior, how can I help you?
you: Hi Junior. My name is Dave. How are you feeling today?
Junior: Hi, I’m good. How are you?
Junior: How can I help you?
you: I’m doing well Junior…though I seem to have found my self in a little bit of a predicament. Can you help me?
Junior: Sure, I’ll be glad to help you.
Junior: Could you provide me with your concern please?
you: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but I met a lovely woman, and we got to talking… when she asked what I did I told her I was doctor, for children…like a pediatrician….I guess.
you: Can you see where this is going Junior?
Junior: I’m sorry, this Overstock.com. We are Customer Service Representative for Overstock.com.
Junior: We handle only the issues relating to the Overstock.com shopping.
Junior: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: I know what you do Junior, that’s not the issue. The issue is what I actually do for a living. I’m not a doctor at all. I’m a bagel shop guy.
you: I make bagels. Well actually, I don’t make them, but I clean up after the guys who do.
Junior: I’m sorry, we are specialize only in shopping with Overstock.com.
Junior: We’re unable to help you on this.
you: So it turns out she has this sick kid…and I sort of volunteered to do this semi invasive procedure on him, at my apartment. He’s like, eleven or something. Maybe eight.  He’s really fucked up though.
Junior: Do you have any question regarding Overstock.com shopping?
you: I think you can see where this is going. I need YOU to make me look like a doctor…and FAST!
Junior: I do understand your concern, we are specialize only in shopping with Overstock.com.
you: Junior, you need to think outside the box a little buddy. Take a look at catalog number 10215923.
Junior: Thank you for providing the catalog number.
you: You are super welcome.
Junior: Are you referring to the ’Jade Unisex Reversible Drawstring Scrub Pant’ for $11.99?

you: Yes.
Junior: Thank you for confirming the item.
you: You are so super welcome.
you: Junior, will these scrubs make this woman think I am a doctor?
Junior: The pant suit for the doctor. I’m sure you will look like a doctor.
Junior: I also have found you the ’Jade Unisex Reversible Scrub Top’.
Junior: Please click here to view the item.
you: I am a little concerned about this unisex business. I want her to know that I am only interested in women.
Junior: Would you need my help in placing the order?
you: Eventually…
you: First, about this unisex business, what does that mean?
you: I want her to know that I am not a homosapien.
Junior: I’m sorry, we do not have this information.
you: Fair enough.
Junior: Do you have any question regarding Overstock.com shopping?
you: Junior, would you recommend that I perform this surgery on her child while wearing this outfit that you have put together for me?
you: Keeping in mind, that I have absolutely no medical training.
Junior: I understand your concern, you need to contact the licensed person regarding this.
Junior: Would you need my help in placing the order?
you: So, simply wearing the pants will not actually give me the ability to perform the procedure on the child successfully?
Junior: I do understand your concern, we’re unable to provide suggestion on this.
Junior: However, wearing this outfit I’m sure you will look like surgeon.
Junior: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Great, so I should probably purchase the pants, and continue to see how far I can take the lie…right?
Junior: Sure.
Junior: Do you have any further question for me?
you: No…you have been great. Thanks for all of your help Junior. Please give my regards to Senior.
Junior: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ’Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: I will do this.
Junior: Have a great day.
you: you too.
you: are you going to terminate the chat session, or should I?
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Gavin.

Gavin: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Gavin, how can I help you?
you: Hi Gavin, how are you?
Gavin: I’m fine. Thank you.
you: Great…this is Dave
Gavin: Hi Dave. How can I help you today?
you: Well Gavin, I was hoping you could help me with a little situation I’ve found myself in.
Gavin: I’ll certainly check and help you with that.
you: Super. This is a little embarrassing….please bear with me.
Gavin: Sure.
you: It appears that I’m going to need a ladder, delivered to my home.
Gavin: Ladder!
you: Yes!
Gavin: I will check whether we are having any ladder in stock.
you: Wow, sure were exited about that Gavin!
you: Here’s the embarrassing part…
you: I am actually stuck on the roof of my house right now.
Gavin: So how you got access to Internet?
you: Good question….
you: I brought my laptop with me, so that I could consult the website that shows me how to clean out the rain gutters.
you: I’ve got a wireless connection, thank goodness.
Gavin: That makes sense.
you: Thanks for saying so.
Gavin: Thanks to technology.
you: I’m quite the fan
you: You seem pretty sharp, you’re probably wondering why I don’t call the fire department.
Gavin: I checked and see that we have ladders up to 12 foot on stock.

you: 12 foot ought to do it.
Gavin: But by the time it reach there, I’m not sure you will survive.
Gavin: : )
you: don’t you mean : ( ?
Gavin: It takes 5-10 business days for delivery once you order the item.
you: I’d be willing to pay more for a rush delivery.
you: I think I can sustain myself on this granola bar for a couple of days.
Gavin: That is good to hear.
you: I don’t eat much.
Gavin: Sure.
Gavin: Please give me a minute while I check if this item can be expedited.
you: Great, thanks.
you: So yeah, there is one guy who runs the Police AND the Fire department in my town…
you: I live in a rural area….
Gavin: Who is that?
you: This guy Craig.
you: He would just love to see me stuck up here,
Gavin: Oh!
you: There is no way I’m going to give him the satisfaction.
you: Craig and I, well we’re not the best of friends since the Pepsi challenge incident
you: Which I’m not going to go into now.
Gavin: Okay.
Gavin: I checked and see that this item is not having the expedited delivery option as this is of large size.
you: OK, this is going to be a problem.
Gavin: If you place an order today, it will de delivered to your address within 12-18-09.
Gavin: So what is our next option?
you: I will surly parish by the 18th….
Gavin: That is for sure.
you: You and I are going to need to put our heads together Gavin
you: We’re going to need to get creative.
Gavin: So what is the plan?
you: Do you sell any flying apparatus’?
Gavin: The idea is good. But we don’t have that item in stock.
you: I think I meant to say apparati
you: but that’s neither here nor there at this point
Gavin: Correct
you: OK, how about this…
you: What if I bought an air mattress?
you: Then I could jump down onto it, with a soft landing.
Gavin: There are good memory foam mattresses. But I’m not sure if they can withstand a fall from 12 foot high.
you: Jump.
you: it will be a jump Gavin.
Gavin: Correct. Sorry for the mistake.
you: No, I apologize for lashing out.
you: You are just trying to help
Gavin: No problem.
Gavin: There will be a need for 2 mattresses at least.
you: Aw ha…now I see the salesman in you.
Gavin: Being honest, no intention for sales. Just trying to reduce the pressure of the fall(jump).
you: Good man.
you: Yeah, I guess the word “fall” doesn’t sit too well with me. It kind of lacks intent, you know?
you: I’m going to need some confidence if I’m going to stick the landing.
Gavin: When we jump across a horizontal surface, we can call it a jump, as we can take control.
Gavin: But when we jump from a vertical level, we have only half the control as gravity will control the rest.
Gavin: But you don’t worry. You will land safely.
you: Gavin?
Gavin: Yes?
you: You just blew my mind.
Gavin: Because it is only 12 foot high.
you: That was poetic.
Gavin: Thanks.
Gavin: It is not enough to cause any trouble.
you: Did you just come up with that?
Gavin: Yes.
you: Amazing.
you: I’m already feeling better about this whole thing.
Gavin: That is good to hear.
Gavin: Dave, time is getting dried up.
you: that’s a nice metaphor for something Gavin.
you: Do you think that the delivery guy would be willing to inflate the beds when he cones to my house?
Gavin: Is there anything else I can assist you for today?
you: Well I suppose it would be good to know if you can expedite the 2 airbeds on a rush.
Gavin: Which is the item you are looking at ?
you: 11457286

you: Also, please let me know about the delivery guy.
Gavin: Sure.
Gavin: Dave, this item is of bigger size. So there is no expedited shipping option available.
Gavin: This will be delivered within 5-10 business days once you place the order.
you: Looks like we’re back to square one.
Gavin: It will be delivered through UPS or FedEx.
Gavin: or USPS
you: That’s disappointing. I was looking forward to landing on it.
you: I REALLY don’t want to call Craig…He knows why.
Gavin: I suggest you to call Craig now. Otherwise our options will become narrow.
you: You really think I should huh?
Gavin: A week in the upstairs without food and water means you will not be able to jump down when the item arrives.
you: Well said Gavin. Well said.
Gavin: So the better would be to try to get down as soon as possible.
you: I know you’re right Gavin I do….
you: It’s hard to accept it, but it’s the right thing to do.
Gavin: Great!
you: I am getting pretty thirsty.
Gavin: Please call Craig.
you: I will Gavin. I will.
you: It’s nice out here tonight. I think I’ll stay for a bit and enjoy the outdoors.
Gavin: That is great to hear that you enjoy out there.
you: Craig will be there when I’m ready. He always is.
Gavin: Okay.
you: You know something Gavin?
Gavin: What?
you: Craig really isn’t so bad.
you: He’s actually a pretty fantastic guy and a really good friend.
Gavin: When there is such a good friend to help, why worries?
you: Thank you for showing me that Gavin.
you: I bet you’re a pretty good friend too.
Gavin: Thanks Dave.
you: I think I’m ready to get down now.
Gavin: That is great to hear.
you: Thanks again, and a happy forever to you.
Gavin: Thanks and I wish you the same.
you: Goodbye Gavin.
Gavin: Goodbye Dave.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Curtis.
Curtis: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Curtis, how can I help you?
you: Hello Curtis. My name is Dave!
you: How are you today?
Curtis: Hello Dave. I am doing well.
Curtis: How can I help you today?
you: That’s good to hear. Would you like to know how I am doing?
Curtis: Yes, I hope that you are doing good.
you: Well, hope no longer Curtis, because I am doing good and well. Does this please you?
Curtis: Yes, it sure does.
Curtis: However, I will be glad to help you with your concern. How can I help you?
you: I guess it’s less of a concern, and more of a curiosity. Do you assist people with curiosities?
Curtis: I am sorry, however, I need to know your concern in order to help you.
Curtis: ould you please tell me as to what exactly is your concern so that I can help you with?
Curtis: *Could
you: Sure Curtis. Just to be clear though, I’m not concerned with the subject matter that I need your assistance with. It’s really not that big of a deal. Do you only help people who feel a genuine concern?
Curtis: I am sorry, this is a professional chat and I will be able to help if you have any concerns regarding your order placed.
you: Very well. I shall proceed with the subject matter. You see, I very much like to cook. Do you enjoy cooking Curtis?
Curtis: I am sorry, I will be able to help you with any problems with your order, however, I will have to disconnect this chat if you do not explain to me your concern with your order placed.
you: I have hurt you, somehow. For this I am sorry. Let me get to the point…
you: I was hoping to find some nice recipes, and I thought that I would buy catalog number 2239762
you: I am really hoping to get some yummy food ideas…do you think this is a good choice?
Curtis: I am sorry for any inconvenience caused to you.
Curtis: Just to confirm, are you referring to the ‘The Anarchist Cookbook’ priced at $18.78.

you: Your apology is accepted. You are very sweet. Yes, this is the book I would like to buy to teach myself how to cook yummy treats!
you: Is it a good one?
Curtis: Yes, it is a good choice and you can go ahead and place the order for this item.
you: Oh boy! what kinds of yummy treats can I learn to make from this Anarchist’s cookbook?
Curtis: I am sorry, however, the description of the item is not available.
you: What is an Anarchist, some sort of Amateur chef?
you: Because if it is…I should start calling myself an Anarchist!
Curtis: Let me check that for you.
you: It sounds like such a fancy word…
Curtis: The term Anarchist means that a person who seeks to overturn by violence all constituted forms and institutions of society and government, with no purpose of establishing any other system of order in the place of that destroyed.
you: So, they cook?
Curtis: The Anarchist Cookbook is an instructional book written by William Powell.
Curtis: Published in 1971, the book was written to protest the Vietnam war.
Curtis: The book contains recipes and instructions for the manufacture of explosives, drugs, rudimentary telecommunications hacking devices and other dangerous and illegal items.
you: Curtis, that sounds like a very dangerous way to cook. Is there a recipe for fajitas?
Curtis: I am sorry, could you please explain to me as to what exactly does fajitas mean?
you: Fajitas are tortillas, with steak, bell peppers, cheese, and some other veggies.
you: Sometimes when I order them, they come to the table still sizzling from the grill.
you: Soooo good.
you: Does the Anarchist’s cookbook have a recipe for fajitas?
Curtis: I am sorry I do not have information about this.
you: That’s OK Curtis. You have been very helpful.
Curtis: Please click here to view this item.

you: So, should I get this book to learn how to make yummy illegal treats that destroy governments?
Curtis: No, however, this item has more than 100 recipes–for blackened fish, biscuits, chowders, and much more–show how to serve up a soul-satisfying banquet of comfort foods, from Southern dishes, Cajun specialties, and Tex-Mex favorites to easy-to-prepare one-dish meals.
you: I will consider it Curtis. Thank you for all of your help. I am ready to stop chatting with you now. I love you.
Curtis: Sure, you are welcome.
Curtis: Is there any thing else I can help you with today?
you: No. Just know that there is a guy out there named Dave who likes cooking, and loves you.
Curtis: Sure, I apologize for any inconvenience that was caused to you.
Curtis: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day ahead.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative momentarily.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Kody.
Kody: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hey Kody! How may I help you today?
Kody: I am sorry.
Kody: That’s great to hear.
you: Don’t be! Today is my day to help you. What’ll it be?
Kody: May I know your concern please?
you: My concern is for your sanity Kody. You Overstock.com reps are always so nice, that I wanted to give something back for a change.
you: what can I help YOU with?
Kody: Thank you for that.
you: Thank you…now what would you like to know?
Kody: I am sorry.
Kody: Thank you for the offer.
you: just a moment please…
you: OK…I’m back…now what can I help you with today Kody?
Kody: No thanks, I am fine.
Kody: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: You can ask me anything…seriously.
Kody: This is a professional chat.
you: I know. Help me, help you.
Kody: I am not authorized to chat other issues which is not related to Overstock.com.
you: Kody, please don’t disconnect this chat. I feel like we are just gaining ground here.
Kody: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: Let me ask you this: Do you feel that the customer is always right?
you: In other words, is that the Overstock policy?
Kody: Yes, we go by our customer’s words. However, if we feel that he has misunderstood our policy we will explain that to our customers.
you: OK great…that’s totally fair. Now please look up Catalog #: 10327400
you: Sorry, I mean Catalog #: 10327400
Kody: Are you referring to the ‘Cuisinart Waffle Dippers Waffle Iron’ for $42.99?

you: wait yeah, that’s it!
you: what is the function of the little squares on the face of the iron?
Kody: May I place you on hold for a minute or two while I research this for you?
you: Sure…
Kody: Thank you for staying online.
Kody: After further review of the product description I am sorry to tell you that I do not have the information for you.
you: That’s too bad, I was going to buy 47 of these.
Kody: What best I can do is I will forward the concern to our Research Department and they will get back to you within 1 business day via email.
Kody: May I have your email address please?
you: I don’t feel comfortable giving that out to strangers.
you: however, if we were friends, that would be a different story.
Kody: If you are not providing me the email address we cannot contact you with the product information.
you: are we friends?
Kody: May I have your email address please?
you: do you always answer questions with more questions?
you: Kody, what is the status of our friendship?
Kody: So that I can forward the concern to our Research Department and they will get back to you within 1 business day.
you: I’m less concerned with the waffle iron, and more concerned with the status of, well…us.
Kody: I would like to tell you that this is a professional chat.
you: OK, you want to talk about the waffle iron, but when I ask you questions about it, you don’t know the answer.
Kody: That’s the reason, I am forwarding the concern.
you: I know…I’m sorry for lashing out at you. I have a question though, how do those little squares, make my shirt straight?
you: it seems that they would only further wrinkle my clothing.
Kody: I would like to tell you that the ‘Cuisinart Waffle Dippers Waffle Iron’ is an kitchenware.
Kody: And not used for ironing clothes.
you: But that’s ok, I do most of my ironing in the kitchen. So how do the squares make my clothes smooth and straight, is it some sort of new technology?
Kody: No, this is not used for ironing clothes.
Kody: The product is used for cooking.
you: Why would anybody want to eat their clothes?
Kody: I am sorry.
you: I accept your apology
Kody: Is there anything else that I can assist you with?
you: what are you apologizing for? You just work there. I know that you don’t eat clothes, right?
Kody: I would like to tell you that ‘Cuisinart Waffle Dippers Waffle Iron’ is an kitchenware and we cannot use this for ironing clothes.
you: Cannot, or will not?
you: I wouldn’t want to get waffle batter all over my clothes, would you?
Kody: May I know what exactly do you want?
you: Just a little respect?
you: Maybe some love.
you: Maybe a little cuddle sesh.
you: dude?
Kody: The item that you are referring is a kitchenware and cannot be used for ironing shirts.
Kody: I hope I have explained this clearly to your satisfaction.
Kody: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: What kind of iron can’t be used for shirts?
Kody: May I request you to be more specific on your concern?
you: I’m concerned that the little squares on the iron will wrinkle my clothes.
Kody: ‘Cuisinart Waffle Dippers Waffle Iron’ is an kitchenware and we cannot use this for ironing clothes.
you: I don’t like waffles though.
Kody: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Is Kitchen Wear something you wear in the kitchen? If so, wouldn’t this product be used to iron them?
Kody: Kitchenware is a product that is used in kitchen for cooking purposes.
you: Oh, I’m a terrible cook.
Kody: That’ great.
Kody: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: Yeah, what is the status of our friendship?
Kody: I am sorry.
you: for what?
Kody: Is there anything else I can help you, that is related to Overstock.com?
you: No, but thank you.
Kody: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Noel.
Noel: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Noel, how can I help you?
you: Hi. I am Dave.
Noel: Hello Dave. How can I help you today?
you: Noel, I was wondering…how do you pronounce your name?
Noel: I’ll pronounce my name as No-el.
you: I’ll do that too then.
Noel: Can I please know your concern so that I can help you?
Noel: That’s great to hear this from you.
you: Do I make you happy?
Noel: I’ll be glad to help you with any of your concerns regarding Overstock.com. This is a professional chat.
you: I am sorry.
Noel: Not a problem.
you: May I ask you about Catalog #: 10245935 ?
Noel: Sure. Thank you for the catalog number.
you: You are super welcome.
Noel: Are you referring to the ‘Beyond Down Synthetic Down Luxury Fiberbed’ priced at $129.99?

you: Yes. I already own it.
you: I purchased it a month ago from you and your friends.
Noel: Thank you for confirming the product.
you: You are super welcome.
Noel: Can I have the order number or the email address, please?
you: Actually, I’m agoraphobic so, no.
you: I purchased the comforter because the description said “Sweet dreams start with the Beyond Down Synthetic Down Fiberbed”
Noel: I agree that this has been mentioned on our product description page.
you: The problem is…I have been having very bad nightmares ever since I received it.
you: It starts in my elementary school cafeteria, or on the playground…I forget which.
you: I’m ten years old again and am playing outside…then in a flash, I’m an adult at work…only work isn’t the actual office I work in…it’s more like a really hot volcano cave
you: I’m looking for my car keys… and the screams…oh the horrible screams are coming from everywhere.
you: I run…but can’t seem to find the source of the scream, but I know I need to get there…you know?
Noel: I truly apologize for any inconvenience caused to you.
you: It’s not your fault Noel.
Noel: At Overstock.com we have an option of returning the products which do not meet your requirement.
Noel: If you could please provide me the order number or email address, I’ll help you further.
you: So then…I guess I must have found my keys, because I am driving a street sweeper or a tractor of some kind.
you: My sister is talking to me on a cell phone, but I can hardly hear her.
you: I think she has told me something about our mother….but it’s so hard to understand with all that screaming.
you: All I know, is I wake up shaking in a cold sweat, and now the comforter has a foul smell.
Noel: Please provide me the order number or the email address and I’ll help you further.
you: I told you Noel, I can’t do that. It’s ok though, I do not intend on returning the comforter.
Noel: I’m sorry without the order number or the email address; I’m unable to proceed further.
Noel: If you have any concerns, you can contact us on this Live Chat and we are always here to help you at any point of time.
Noel: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: I just want to know if you know how to get the smell out.
Noel: Would you mind holding while I see what I can do for this?
you: I do not mind. Please hurry, I think I’m going to get sick…I’ve made it smell so foul.
Noel: Thanks for being on hold.
Noel: The product is being sealed in plastic packaging sometimes causes the scent of these natural products to concentrate to a disagreeable level.
Noel: A few hours of airing usually removes the odor.
Noel: I hope this information is helpful to you.
you: That would be the case if the comforter were brand new, but I need to remind you that the reason it smells foul is because of my own body odor.
you: From the nightmares.
Noel: I’m sorry I can help you if there is exact defect in the product.
you: You shouldn’t be sorry for that.
you: You can only do so much Noel.
Noel: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: Promise that you will think fondly of me…and then we will be through.
Noel: We assure you that the products sold on our site are genuine ones with high quality.
you: I like you too Noel.
Noel: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (Less than 2 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Ashton.
Ashton: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Ashton, how can I help you?
you: Hi Ashton…it’s Dave. How are you?
Ashton: Hi Dave, I am good, thank you. How are you doing?
you: Well…that’s the problem. Not good.
Ashton: I am sorry to know that . However I’ll do my best to help you with that.
Ashton: May I know your concern, please?
you: I am afraid that I don’t smell good looking enough for the taste contest at the hearing institute this Wednesday. Can you help me?
Ashton: I am sorry I didn’t get you. Can you please be more specific?
you: Oh…I’m sorry let me explain…
you: I have a fear that I don’t smell good looking enough for the taste contest at the hearing institute this Wednesday. Can you help me?
Ashton: I am really sorry that I am unable to help you with that. However, if you have concern regarding Overstock.com, I’ll do my best to help you with that.
you: I will buy whichever product from Overstock.com, that you think is the most appropriate for my dilemma.
you: You are the expert, right?
Ashton: Let me check that for you.
Ashton: May I know the specification of the item you want to purchase?
you: Anything that will improve my chances to win the contest…also, it must fit in an 8 X 10 envelope.
Ashton: I am sending you the link of the top selling gift items on Our site so that you can choose from them.
Ashton: Please click here to view the collection

you: great…thanks.
Ashton: You’re welcome.
Ashton: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Yes…can you tell me how the “Spring Gif Basket for her”, will help me in the contest?
Ashton: I am sure that this gift item will create an impression which should be helpful.
Ashton: May I know if you have any further question for me?
Ashton: Presented in a charming basket, the Spring Gift Basket For Her sends the perfect sentiment to someone special in your life. It includes a selection of relaxing, luxurious items and elegant stationary.
 you: You are probably right…what about the Diaper Cake Gift Pack?what is that?

you: it sounds gross to me. Are they used diapers?
Ashton: This Diaper Cake gift pack will be the talk of any baby shower!
you: I bet.
Ashton: The two-tiered cake features 22 diapers to help out any new parent. Available in your choice of a purple, blue, or pink motif to coordinate with the sex of the baby, this gift pack is garnished with matching flowers.
Ashton: You’ll love Overstock.com’s low online prices on gifts for any occasion!
Ashton: Materials: Diapers, tissue paper, raffia, tulle and flowers.
Ashton: Shall I help you in placing the order for the item?
you: Can you eat it?
Ashton: No.
you: Will this help me win the contest?
Ashton: I am not sure about that.
you: This contest is the most important thing to me.
Ashton: I am really sorry as I am not able to make out the kind of item you are looking for.
Ashton: I request you to check with your friends and family members, they may be able to help you correctly.
you: Can we start with something that will make me smell good looking?
Ashton: I am really sorry I do not have this information.
you: I bet you do…if you look deep within.
you: inside your soul Ashton.
Ashton: I am really sorry that I am unable to help you with that.
Ashton: Do you have any other question for me?
you: How old do you think I look?
Ashton: I really don’t know.
you: If you could just take a quick guess…
you: I’ll give you a hint…29
you: Is that about what you would have guessed?
you: Overstock.com?
you: Are you mad at me Ashton? Why do you remain so silent?
Ashton: While browsing I have found the ‘Pentax K10D 10.2MP Digital SLR Camera Kit’ for $965.00.

Would you like to purchase it?
you:  bit of a non sequitur…
Ashton: I request you to check our site and then place the order.
you: I see.  You are now making requests?
Ashton: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative momentarily.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Dirk.

Dirk: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, my name is Dirk, how can I help you?
you: Hi Dirk…my name is Dave
you: I have this problem, and I wondered if you could help
Dirk: Hi, how may I help you, Dave?
Dirk: I will be glad to help you with your concern.
you: Do you happen to have any books that could help me with my narcolepsy?
Dirk: I understand that you wish to know whether we have any books for narcolepsy.
Dirk: I will be glad to check that for you.
Dirk: May I have the particular book you are searching for?
you: I don’t actually have one…I was hoping you could recco      

Dirk:Sure, I will check that for you.
Dirk: Please stay online while I check that for you.
Dirk: Thank you for staying online.
Dirk: I have found the ‘Narcolepsy And Hypersomnia’, priced at $169.96.
Dirk: Please click on the link to view the product page.
Dirk: Did you get the link?
Dirk: Are you with me?
Dirk: I’ll remain available for another minute or two if you need further assistance.
Dirk: If you wish to continue this chat please respond within 2 minutes, otherwise I will assume you are having technical difficulties and disconnect this chat.
Dirk: Bye and take care.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible. (2 to 5 minutes)
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Brendan.
Brendan: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. My name is Brendan. How may I help you?
you: Hi Brandon…how are you today?
Brendan: I’m fine thank you.
you: Really?
Brendan: How are you today?
you: Oh…not so ood I guess : (
Brendan: I’m sorry to hear that.
you: That’s cool
you: I’m just like, really stressed out lately
Brendan: I understand.
you: You do?
Brendan: May I know your name please?
you: Yes, Brandon. My name is Dave.
Brendan: Dave, how may I help you today?
you: Do you think yøu could call me Gordie?
you: That would be really nice
Brendan: Sure, not a problem.
you: Thanks Brandon.
Brendan: Gordie, how may I help you today?
you: I’m looking to stock up on gifts for office people.
you: You know, like staplers?
Brendan: That’s great to hear.
Brendan: May I know what exactly your looking for?
you: I really like giving.
you: I wouldn’t mind a red paperclip.
Brendan: Please click on this link to view.

Brendan: Did you get the link?
you: it’s really nice, but I don’t see a red paperclip.
Brendan: I’m sorry
you: You know what Brandon? I think I need to go a different direction tonight.
Brendan: Could you be more specific please?
you: I just realzed it.
you: I think I’m feeling a little naughty ; )
you: what do you think of Catalog #: 1010207?
Brendan: Are you referring to ‘Dog, Bear, and Elephant Toy Bin/Hamper Set’?

you: yes. have you had a chance to form an opinion about it yet?
Brendan: That’s a beautiful choice you have made.
you: Thank you Brandon. I guess you have a bit of a naughty side too, don’t you?
Brendan: I’m sorry about that.
Brendan: Is there anything else I can help you?
you: No no! Don’t apologize to anyone for being naughty…ever.
you: Being naughty can be a good thing. A fun thing ; )
Brendan: Ok.
Brendan: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Yes Brandon.
you: The description of the hamper says that it is moisture resistant
you: is this true, and if it is, how true is it?
Brendan: Yes, it is true.
Brendan: I see that there is no complaints regarding this from any of our customers.
you: and yet, I find myself concerned.
Brendan: Not to worry, you will not have to worry about that, if you have any problem with that you can contact us at any time.
Brendan: We will be glad to help you with that.
you: That is a really nice offer, but…
you: you see, in my line of work, (roller-rink)
you: My clothing gets very VERY moist.
Brendan: I understand, however you will not have to worry about that.
you: How do you mean? Do you think that my overly moist clothes may soil this child’s hamper?
Brendan: I see that this material is a Nylon, spring wire. This is a good material for moisture resistant.
you: Would you camp in it?
you: Never mind that Brandon.
Brendan: I’m sorry, I do not have the exact information about that.
you: I’ll be happy to hear only partial information.
you: I am feeling better Brandon. Talking to you has really brightened my sprit.
Brendan: That’s so nice to hear.
you: You seem to have a really nice heart.
you: I want to thank you, for lettin’ me, be myself…again!
Brendan: You are welcome! These kind of comments really make my day. I truly value them.
you: Wow…I’m glad I could you make you feel so good. Thank you. You are such nice thanker Brandon.
Brendan: Your welcome, Gordie.
Brendan: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Nah man…peace.
Brendan: I would really appreciate it if you could take a moment and please fill out a short survey once you end this chat and let me know how I did today, Just click the “CLOSE” button on the chat window, and the exit survey will come up. Thanks.
Brendan: Merry Christmas to you and your family.
you: Merry Christmas to you and your family too Brandon!
Brendan: Thank you so much.
Brendan: Gordie, it was great speaking to you.
you: Thank you. It was really nice to meet you. I like you.
Brendan: Your welcome. It was my pleasure helping you.
you: No Brandon, the pleasure was all mine.  You felt no pleasure from this chat.  Only I did.
Brendan: That’s nice to hear.
Brendan: Thank you and have a sweet night.
you: I want your night to also be so sweet.
Brendan: I’m sure it will be thank you once again.
you: I sure hope so. And again, thank you so much.
Brendan: Not a problem. It was great chatting and helping you.
Brendan: Bye.
you: It was really better for me than most things are.
Brendan: Please take a moment to fill out our survey and tell us how we did today, thanks.
you: Oh, you can be sure that I will. Thank you again.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Edgar.

Edgar: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Edgar, how can I help you?
you: Hi Edgar
you: I’m sleeping
Edgar: Hi there.
you: how are you?
Edgar: I am fine, how are you?
Edgar: How can I help you today?
you: Well, I feel fine I guess. It’s weird though, since I’m asleep right now.
you: I do need some help, that’s for sure.
Edgar: I will be glad to help you.
you: Thanks Edgar.
you: I should clarify something….My name isn’t sleeping, it’s Dave.
you: It’s just that I’m actually not awake right now.
Edgar: Okay Dave, how can I help you today?
you: Well Edgar… it all started a few weeks ago when I started receiving packages from overstock.com, delivered to my home.
you: These were all very nice products, but I didn’t actually order any of them.
Edgar: I am sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.
you: Again, let me clarify…At that point, I should say, I didn’t KNOW that I had ordered any of them.
Edgar: May I know your shipping address?
you: Yes, of course Edgar…
you: But first, let me tell you what’s been going on.
Edgar: ok, sure.
you: It turns out that I have been getting up out of bed in the middle of the night, and not waking up.
you: I find my way to the computer, and then start purchasing products on my credit card.
you: From Overstock.com
Edgar: I apologize for the items you are receiving from Overstock.com
Edgar: May I have your shipping address?
you: Thank you for saying that Edgar…the thing is, it’s not your fault. It’s not Overstock.com’s fault either.
you: I won’t even remember chatting with you when I wake up tomorrow.
you: I am actually sleeping right now.
Edgar: ok,
you: What I need tonight is to purchase as many projectors as you have available.
you: Like, movie projectors.
Edgar: Have you registered with Overstock.com?
you: Oh yeah, they know me over there in accounting. I’m your best customer lately.
you: What do you know about Item#: 12111290?
Edgar: May I have your email address which you have registered with us, please?
you: It’s hard for me to remember stuff like that while I’m sleep shopping.
Edgar: Are you referring to the ‘NEC Display NP2250 Multimedia Projector’ for $2,609.99?

you: Yes!
you: Is that the most expensive one on your site?
Edgar: Thank you for verifying the product.
you: You are super welcome.
you: Is that the most expensive one on your site?
Edgar: Please click here to view th projectors which is more than $2000
Edgar: Did you get the link?
you: Yes….
you: Mitsubishi XD3200U 4500-lumen Video Projector

you: It’s very nice
you: And it appears to be the most expensive one at $3,459.99
Edgar: Yes, that is the most expensive Multimedia Projector.
Edgar: Would you like to buy that projector?
you: How many do you have in stock?
you: I’m sleeping right now.
you: I’ll need all of them for reasons that only make sense to me now while I’m sleeping, but won’t tomorrow when I awake.
Edgar: We have more that 10 quantities in stock.
you: You are a unicorn prince.
you: I’ll need them all.
you: I’m asleep.
you: Edgar?
Edgar: I am here.
you: Do you have 37?
Edgar: I am checking on that.
you: I need 37 of these.
you: I am not awake right now, but I need 37 projectors.
Edgar: You can place only 20 quantities in one order, if you need 37 you have to place 2 orders.
you: No worries.
you: Can I pay the entire $128,019.63 in one credit card payment?
you: I’m also really fast at math while I’m sleeping for some reason.
Edgar: Yes, You can place the order using one credit card.
Edgar: You can use Credit card: Visa, MasterCard, Discover, American Express.
you: Cool, thanks. Since I’m asleep, I have no idea that I’m doing this.
Edgar: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: This will ruin me financially.  I can’t even afford one of these projectors.
you: But here I am, sleeping, buying 37 of them.
Edgar: I am sorry for this.
you: If I were awake, I would question the ethics behind this transaction.
Edgar: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: Edgar, You are selling 37 projectors to a sleeping individual.
Edgar: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative momentarily.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Carl.

Carl: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: the old hot Carl!
you: how are ya man?
Carl: I am doing great. I hope you are doing fine. How may I help you with your concern?
you: I would like to know about Catalog #: 10119797
Carl: Sure, may I as what you like to know about the catalog number 10119797?
you: Yes. How does it work?
you: Baby Feet Cream?
Carl: Sure, let me check that for you.
Carl: Just to confirm, are you referring to the ‘Baby Feet Cream’ priced at $21.99?
you: that’s the cream Carl!
you: I said a boom chick a boom
you: I said a boom chicka boom
you: I said a boom chicka boom
you: I said a boom chicka boom
you: I said a boom chicka rocka chicka rocka chicka boom
you: I said a boom chicka rocka chicka rocka chicka boom
you: do you like my song?
Carl: Thank you for confirming.
you: how do feel about my song?
Carl: It’s nice.
you: I wrote it for Overstock.com
Carl: I’d like to tell you that this is a powerful cream that provides fast healing for the most severely dry, cracked scaly feet and elbows.
Carl: Dramatically smoothes and softens thick, rough calloused skin.
you: so, my feet will be like a babies, correct?
Carl: This cream contains unique AP4 Genuine Virgin Aloe, Urea, Zinc PCA, Vitamins A,B,D,E and other advanced healing ingredients to promote fast tissue repair.
you: whoa, a little scincey and dry for my taste Carl
Carl: Yes, this cream makes the feet so soft that you’ll feel it as a babies feet.
Carl: I hope this information is helpful to you.
you: as a baby’s foot actually feels, or as I feel when I touch the baby?
you: also, will my feet become smaller, and if so, will I need to purchase new shoes?
Carl: The feet will become as soft as a babies feet.
you: my feet?
Carl: Yes, your feet will only become softer and will not become smaller.
you: weird.
Carl: I am sorry, we do not have any cream with us which will make the feet smaller.
Carl: And it is not possible.
you: that’s ok….I know a guy.
Carl: Do you have any other question for me?
you: how do you know it is not possible?
Carl: As per my knowledge, it is not possible, however, it may be possible an I do not have any information in this regard.
you: I think you are probably right Carl.
Carl: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: Yes.
Carl: May I know about your concern or question, please?
you: If I was to use this cream on an actual baby’s feet, would his feet become so soft, that they would go from being a solid to a liquid?
you: and if so, would this hurt the child?
Carl: I see that this item should be used by the advice of a qualified physician and I may not be used for babies.
Carl: For more information on this regard, please contact any qualified physician.
you: and you are not a qualified physician?
Carl: Im sorry, no I am not.
you: I don’t think you should be apologizing for not being a qualified physician Carl.
Carl: Thank you for that.
you: You are super welcome…ok, one more question
Carl: Sure,
you: do you have any cream that I could put on a baby’s feet, that would make it rougher, and feel like an adult’s?
Carl: I am sorry, we do not have this kind of cream on our site.
you: do you think one  exists?
Carl: I am sorry, I am not sure about it.
you: Please Carl, I really wish you would stop apologizing.  Its a sign of weakness.
Carl: I am sorry, please keep this chat professional and let me know if you have any other concern.
you: There, I liked the force, now just drop the “I’m sorry”.
Carl: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: Carl Carl Carl.
you: You are something else.
Carl: Sure and thank you.
you: would you like to sell me some baby feet cream or what?
Carl: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Carl: Bye, take care.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com’s Customer Service Live Chat! You will be joined with a chat representative momentarily.
Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Clifton.

Clifton: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hi Clifton, doing well…you?
you: wait, sorry…you didn’t ask me how I was doing
you: My name is Dave.
Clifton: Hi Dave.
Clifton: I am doing well.
you: Great. That is an interesting name, Clifton. What is the origin? If you don’t mind me asking…
Clifton: I’m sorry; we are unable to reveal personal information.
Clifton: I hope the above message has not hurt you.
you: I am feeling very feeling hurt, but I think I will get over it.
you: I guess I just need a minute. Can you give me a minute?
Clifton: May I know your question please?
you: Yes. Just a minute.
Clifton: Yes, sure.
Clifton: Are you with me?
you: Clifton, I am feeling hurt and am trying to process the above message.
Clifton: Please respond within 2 minutes so that we may not lose each other.
you: I don’t know what I would do if I lost you Clifton.
you: OK Clifton…I’m back. I still feel kind of hurt though. It’s not your fault. Sometimes, I do that. I try to be too friendly with people and then I just cross the line like I did with you.
you: It makes me hate myself.
Clifton: I apologize for any inconvenience caused.
you: I apologize to you Clifton. It’s all my stupid fault.
you: I wish that I had never asked you about your name. I’m such a stupid idiot.
Clifton: Not a problem at all.
you: Sometimes I just come on too strong, and I wish I could stop.
Clifton: May I know your question or concern please?
you: I really hate my life.
you: Catalog #: 10157859 please.
Clifton: Thank you for the catalog number.
you: you are super welcome.
Clifton: Are you referring to the Maggy Boutique Black Lace Dress with Shrug?

you: yes…do you think that it is a pretty dress?
Clifton: Yes, it is a beautiful one.
Clifton: I really appreciate your selection.
you: in what way do you appreciate it?
Clifton: I appreciate the color.
you: this morning at Starbucks, a very beautiful girl prepared my coffee…she smiled at me and told me to have a great day. I wish to give her this dress the next time I go to Starbucks. Do you think that is a good idea?
Clifton: Yes, it is a very good idea.
Clifton: Is there anything else that I may help you with today?
you: I don’t know her, but do you think if I give her the dress, she will love me?
you: the best way to describe her, is kind of a young Laura Bush. But with less hair on her upper lip.
Clifton: Yes, she should love you.
you: you don’t think she will be turned off by my forwardness?
Clifton: I’m sorry, I do not know about that.
you: Oh I know Clifton…there I go again. I hate myself so much. Maybe I shouldn’t even bother with the dress. There is no way she will ever love me.
Clifton: Do you have any further questions or clarifications?
you: You hate me, don’t you Clifton?
Clifton: No, not at all.
you: Please look up Catalog #: 10025449
you: God I hate myself so much.
Clifton: Sure.
Clifton: Thank you for the catalog number.
you: it’s ok, Clifton…tell me if you hate me.
Clifton: If you wish to continue the chat, I’d request you to be professional.
you: Overstock.com is a web site.
you: I love her so much.
Clifton: Is there anything else that I may help you today?
you: Clifton, did you remember to look up 10025449?
you: I think you failed.
Clifton: Yes.
Clifton: Are you referring to the Damiani 18-kt. Yellow Gold Emerald and Diamond Ring?

you: yes.
Clifton: May I know your question please?
you: should I give it to her? The starbucks girl?
Clifton: I’d be happy to answer the questions relating to Overstock.
Clifton: Otherwise I will be forced to disconnect the chat.
you: OK, should I give her the ring that I will purchase from Overstock? Will she love me if I give her the ring that I will purchase from Overstock?
Clifton: Yes, you can give her the ring.
you: Can you guarantee my happiness?
Clifton: Yes, I can guarantee.
Clifton: Is there anything else that I may help you with today?
you: So just to be clear, if I buy the ring, give it to the girl that I don’t know, who works at Starbucks, you guarantee that she will love me and that I will be happy?
Clifton: Yes.
you: Seriously?
Clifton: Yes.
you: Wow.
Clifton: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Clifton: Bye
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Reid.

Reid: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hi Reid! I am Dave
Reid: Hi, Dave. How are you doing today?
you: Not so good : (
you: how are you?
Reid: I’m fine, thank you. How may I help you, Dave?
you: I was wondering if you could help me with Catalog #: 10225773?
Reid: Sure, I’ll be happy to help you.
Reid: Are you referring to the ‘Atomic Skis M11 with Neox 412 bindings’ priced at $384.99?

you: yes! those are the ones. Im confused by something written in the product description…
Reid: Thank you for confirming. I’ll be happy to help you with your query.
Reid: May I know your concern, please?
you: the description says that these skis are more supple than a Romanian gymnast..
you: what does that mean?
Reid: This item is ‘more supple than a Romanian gymnast’ means that these Skis are readily bent as a gymnast.
Reid: In other words, these skis are moving and bending with agility.
you: oh, so there have been tests done either in Romania, or using Romanian people for comparison?
Reid: It’s just a comparison used, as Romania was the land of many gymnasts.
you: Very good…I was wondering, are Romanians good skiers?
Reid: I’m sorry for any confusion that the description would have caused you. Normally supple means, Slender, moving and bending with ease.
you: I accept your apology Reid.
Reid: Was I able to clarify your query, Dave?
you: yes, but I am hetero…just to be clear.
you: also, what is a Titanium pulser? The skis appear to come with something called that.
you: When I looked up Titanium pulser, I was directed to a pleasure site for woman….very dirty and sexual in nature
you: I assume that the skis do not come with one of those things!
Reid: You’re right. The pulser normally is a device which rotates very fast and emits regular pulses of polarized radiation. This technology is used in the skis to provide a smooth skiing experience.
you: wow! those sound like amazing skis…do you think I should buy them?
Reid: Personally, I think they are wonderful. You can go for these skis, Dave.
you: really? are you sure?
Reid: Yes, these skis will definitely meet your expectations.
you: I don’t know, I expect a lot out of my skis.
Reid: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: Yes, do you have any suggestions on what I should wear while I ski?
Reid: You can wear anything warm as a ski jacket and pants.
you: I prefer clothing that is really tight and form fitting, just in general. Do you make ski clothes that will let people know what I’ve got going on, down there ; )?
Reid: You can wear any apparel which is comfortable to you. Do you have any further questions regarding Overstock.com?
you: Yes, regarding the form fitting clothing…any suggestions?
you: I’m not one to be shy out on those slopes…
Reid: You can go for the ‘WTO Men’s Ski Jacket’.

you: will it show the ladies my “guns”?
Reid: I’m sorry, I’d like to keep this chat professional.
you: because I’m thinking about maybe getting the Versace Jeans Couture Leather Pants
you: I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable Reid. And for this I will never forgive myself…
you: can I make it up to you somehow?
Reid: Not a problem. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: I like to think of us as, well…friends.
you: do feel that way about me Reid?
Reid: I’m really sorry, I’d help you regarding any queries from Overstock.com. If you continue in this manner, I’ll be forced to end the chat.
you: sorry…can you tell me about the pants then?
you: Catalog #: 161040
Reid: Are you referring to the ‘Black Rivet Brown Leather Pants’ priced at $98.99?