Pediatric Fashion Emergency

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Junior.
Junior: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Junior, how can I help you?
you: Hi Junior. My name is Dave. How are you feeling today?
Junior: Hi, I’m good. How are you?
Junior: How can I help you?
you: I’m doing well Junior…though I seem to have found my self in a little bit of a predicament. Can you help me?
Junior: Sure, I’ll be glad to help you.
Junior: Could you provide me with your concern please?
you: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but I met a lovely woman, and we got to talking… when she asked what I did I told her I was doctor, for children…like a pediatrician….I guess.
you: Can you see where this is going Junior?
Junior: I’m sorry, this Overstock.com. We are Customer Service Representative for Overstock.com.
Junior: We handle only the issues relating to the Overstock.com shopping.
Junior: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: I know what you do Junior, that’s not the issue. The issue is what I actually do for a living. I’m not a doctor at all. I’m a bagel shop guy.
you: I make bagels. Well actually, I don’t make them, but I clean up after the guys who do.
Junior: I’m sorry, we are specialize only in shopping with Overstock.com.
Junior: We’re unable to help you on this.
you: So it turns out she has this sick kid…and I sort of volunteered to do this semi invasive procedure on him, at my apartment. He’s like, eleven or something. Maybe eight.  He’s really fucked up though.
Junior: Do you have any question regarding Overstock.com shopping?
you: I think you can see where this is going. I need YOU to make me look like a doctor…and FAST!
Junior: I do understand your concern, we are specialize only in shopping with Overstock.com.
you: Junior, you need to think outside the box a little buddy. Take a look at catalog number 10215923.
Junior: Thank you for providing the catalog number.
you: You are super welcome.
Junior: Are you referring to the ’Jade Unisex Reversible Drawstring Scrub Pant’ for $11.99?


you: Yes.
Junior: Thank you for confirming the item.
you: You are so super welcome.
you: Junior, will these scrubs make this woman think I am a doctor?
Junior: The pant suit for the doctor. I’m sure you will look like a doctor.
Junior: I also have found you the ’Jade Unisex Reversible Scrub Top’.
Junior: Please click here to view the item.
you: I am a little concerned about this unisex business. I want her to know that I am only interested in women.
Junior: Would you need my help in placing the order?
you: Eventually…
you: First, about this unisex business, what does that mean?
you: I want her to know that I am not a homosapien.
Junior: I’m sorry, we do not have this information.
you: Fair enough.
Junior: Do you have any question regarding Overstock.com shopping?
you: Junior, would you recommend that I perform this surgery on her child while wearing this outfit that you have put together for me?
you: Keeping in mind, that I have absolutely no medical training.
Junior: I understand your concern, you need to contact the licensed person regarding this.
Junior: Would you need my help in placing the order?
you: So, simply wearing the pants will not actually give me the ability to perform the procedure on the child successfully?
Junior: I do understand your concern, we’re unable to provide suggestion on this.
Junior: However, wearing this outfit I’m sure you will look like surgeon.
Junior: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: Great, so I should probably purchase the pants, and continue to see how far I can take the lie…right?
Junior: Sure.
Junior: Do you have any further question for me?
you: No…you have been great. Thanks for all of your help Junior. Please give my regards to Senior.
Junior: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ’Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: I will do this.
Junior: Have a great day.
you: you too.
you: are you going to terminate the chat session, or should I?
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

Out of Date Celebrity Gossip

Welcome to Overstock.com, you are now chatting with Johny.
Johny: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Johny, how can I help you?
you: Hey Johny, this is Dave
you: How are you today?
Johny: Hi Dave.
Johny: I am fine. Thanks for asking.
you: That’s great!
you: OMG, did you hear about Brad and Angelina?
Johny: I am really sorry, can you please be more specific about your question/concern?
you: Oh right, sorry. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
you: Did you hear about them?
Johny: I am sorry, we do not have information on this.
you: Oh well, then you are talking to right guy, because I have the scoop!
you: They’re splitsville Johny!
you: Can you believe it?!?
Johny: Happy to chat with you.
you: Me too Johny
you: thank you!
Johny: May I have your question or concern, so that I can help you correctly?
you: btw, there is no chance of an actual divorce, because they never even married!
you: Do you remember where you were when you first heard that Brad was leaving Jen for Angie?
you: I for one will never forget it.
Johny: Dave, do you have any questions regarding products that I can help you?
you: Yeah probably….so I was getting ready for work, it was a Tuesday, and I was watching TMZ Tivo’d from the night before, when I heard the news.
you: I nearly shit myself Johny.
you: I mean. Brad and Jen….they were like, so perfect…you know?
Johny: Please give me a minute.
Johny: I am sorry, Dave.
you: Sure thing Johny.
Johny: I am not that good with movies.
you: No worries.
you: You are a very good customer service representative, I can tell.
Johny: Do you have any questions related to Overstock. com products?
you: Oh yeah, I bet…hahaha.
Johny: Do you have any questions related to Overstock. com products?
you: So, anyways….I’m sure you could just imagine how upset I was.
Johny: I am sorry to hear that.
Johny: I will be glad to help you further if you have any questions related to our products.
you: I threw away any movies I had starring Angie J, because it was just too painful.
you: I mean, how could Brad just throw it all away?
Johny: Okay.
you: How Johny?
Johny: I really do not have any clue about films and actors.
Johny: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
you: That’s so true man. So true.
you: Perhaps though, maybe you could sort of, speculate.
Johny: I can understand.
Johny: Do you wish to know any the products on our site?
you: I think it would be nice if you and I could try and make some sense out of all of this….together.
you: Don’t you think so Johny?
Johny: Yes, but it is not possible also.
you: haha, Yeah tell me about it.
you: That’s actually a really good point.
Johny: I am here to assist you with our products and service. Please let me know if you have any concerns with any of our items.
you: You seem to have grasped some insight into all of this, that pretty much went over my head.
you: Does that come naturally to you?
Johny: I’m working as customer support representative for shopping, I don’t have the information about films and actors actually.
you: Yet, you have seem to have this innate insight into their personal lives.
Johny: No, Dave.
you: Oh. Am I reading into something that’s not really there?
Johny: Are you referring to the news?
you: Which news is that? Did you hear something new?!
you: Don’t tell me Angie and Brad are going to make it work!
Johny: No, I do not have any information about that.
you: Oh thank goodness, I don’t think I could take more of this emotional roller coaster.
you: It’s been up and down and up and down.
Johny: I really understand. Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: How do you manage Johny?
you: With all of this?
Johny: Dave, other customers are also waiting.
you: For what?
Johny: It is for assistance regarding our products and service.
you: Oh, I’ve never had to wait for more than a few minutes.
Johny: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
Johny: Okay.
you: You’ve already helped me so much Johny.
Johny: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome.
Johny: Have a great day.
you: You too.
Johny: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Your feedback is important. Please click ‘Close’ and complete the brief survey which appears. It takes less than one minute.
you: Ha ha! I know, totally.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Swiss Army Pocket Trombone

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Brendan.
Brendan: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Brendan, how can I help you?
you: Hi Brandon, this is Dave. How are you?
Brendan: Hi, Dave.
Brendan: I’m fine.How’re you?
you: Pretty good thanks!
Brendan: How can I help you?
you: Just getting ready for a trip
Brendan: Great.
you: I’ll be doing a lot of traveling in the coming months, so I’ve decided to stock up on some supplies.
Brendan: Very well thought.
you: Thanks for saying so!
Brendan: Can I know the items you’re looking to purchase?
you: Sure thing. I’m kind of a list maker….
Brendan: Okay.
you: Today I made a list of some of my daily functions, ranging from cutting food to fixing a golf shoe.
Brendan: Okay.
you: My list ended up being pretty long….141 lines to be exact.
Brendan: We have a wide range of products  to choose from.
you: What I was hoping, was that maybe you could suggest a product that would be able to perform all 141 functions, while still fitting in my pocket.
Brendan: Well, I can help you to choose the items you wish to choose and also can help you to place the order.
you: OK, I should also tell you that I’m on a budget. I can’t spend more than $1,048.95.
Brendan: Okay.
Brendan: Please take a look on our web site to choose the items you would want to purchase.
you: Brendan, I don’t know how you managed to do it, but I think that I’ve found the perfect product!!
you: Please take a look at Item#: 11450801
Brendan: Sure.
Brendan: Are you referring to ‘Wenger Giant 85-tool 141-function Swiss Army Knife’?


you: Yes!
you: It looks like a Transformer
you: from outer space!
Brendan: Well, if that suits your needs please go ahead and place the order.
you: Brendan, do you own this product?
Brendan: I see that this item is in stock at the monent.
Brendan: Please place the order before we run out of stock.
you: Oh, are you concerned that a lot of people will buy this swiss army knife tonight?
Brendan: Since we deal in liquidation of merchandise, the items on our site are sold out quickly.
Brendan: Is there any product related help that I can help you with?
you: Brendan, do you think that this knife with 141 functions can be used for a few more functions than those that are listed?
you: I just added a few more things to my list….
Brendan: The functions of this knife  are listed on the product page.
Brendan: However, I’ll not be able to comment whether it can be used for few more functions as well.
you: Brendan, I realized that I called you Brandon when we first began our chat. I’m sorry.
Brendan: That’s alright.
you: Are you sure?
Brendan: Yes.
Brendan: Do you have any further questions for me?
you: I’m really hating myself for that. The thing is, I know a lot of guys named
Brandon, but only one named Brendan.
Brendan: That’s absolutely fine.
you: The guy I know named Brendan is a kick ass tomboner.
you: I mean, like really good. I’ve known him since high school, and he sometimes hires me to play drums for him.
you: Brendan, do you play the trombone?
Brendan: I can help you if you have any query regarding Overstock.com.
you: Oh yes…please look up Item#: 935285
Brendan: Sure.
Brendan: Are you referring to ‘Orchestra/ Band Approved Trombone with Case’ priced $ 233.99?


you: Yes! Do you know how to play that thing?
Brendan: Yes, how can I help you regarding this item?
you: You can play it?
Brendan: I’m sorry I do not play it.
Brendan: Please understand that this is a professional chat and I can help you regarding questions pertaining to Overstoack.com.
Brendan: *Overstock
you: I don’t think you should have to apologize for that Brendan
you: It’s not your fault.
you: Even though this is a western instrument, since t has a slide I think it would transfer really well into Indian music.
you: You could play quarter tones and such…they would sound flat to a western trained ear, but beautiful in Indian music!
you: Brendan, would you like me to give you this horn?
you: I like you, and I’d be willing to buy it for you.
you: Since you already work at the Overstock.com factory, all you would need to do would be to walk over to the trombone department and pick it up.
you: Brendan, are you still with me?
Brendan: Yes, I’m here.
you: Have you had a chance to think about my offer?
Brendan: I’ll sign off if you do not have any questions pertaining to Overstock.com shopping.
you: Would you be more comfortable if I retracted my offer?
you: Brendan, I understand that you don’t want me to purchase this horn as a gift for you. I’m really sorry if I offended you.
you: Add that to getting your name wrong earlier, and it’s not looking so good for you and me as friends. Self-hatred.
Brendan: I shall conclude this chat session as you don’t have concerns related to your shopping with Overstock.com.
Brendan: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative. 

Yes, We Can Call Them As Man Pants.

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Jeremy.
Jeremy: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Jeremy, how can I help you?
you: Hi Jeremy…this is Dave. How are you?
Jeremy: I’m good thanks.
Jeremy: How are you doing today?
you: Oy vey…I don’t know where to start. Not too good Jeremy. Not so hot.
Jeremy: Dave, I’ll be glad to help you with your concern.
Jeremy: Could I please know your concern?
you: Well, maybe I should have you speak to my doctor, as this is a rough subject for me. Would you be willing to talk to him?
Jeremy: Dave, I’ll be happy to help, if you had any issues with Overstock.com products.
you: OK, you seem like a nice guy Jeremy. If I tell you what’s going on with me, do you promise not to make fun of me?
Jeremy: I will not.
you: Well, if you refuse to promise, than I don’t know how I can feel comfortable.
Jeremy: Dave, this is a professional chat and I can help you with any issues regarding the Overstock.com.
you: Jeremy, I’m just going to put it out on the table. I can no longer control my tinkles.
Jeremy: Please let me know your concern.
you: Do you understand my condition?
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I’m unable to understand your concern.
you: I tinkle before I have time to get to the tinkletorioum.
you: In my pants.
you: Like a child, Jeremy. Like a tinkling toddler too tinked to toot.
you: Now do you understand?
Jeremy: I understand and I’m sorry.
Jeremy: Please consult a doctor and they should be able to help you.
you: Thank you. Jeremy, I’m sorry to be beating around the bushes, but I’m just beside myself over this.
you: I need protection. I need to feel like I’ve got some sort of control over the situation. I need you to look up catalog number 10718915
Jeremy: Are you referring to the ‘Invacare Large Economy Series Adult Briefs (Case of 72)’ priced at $31.99?


you: yes, can we call them man pants for the sake of this conversation?
Jeremy: Yes, we can call them as man pants.
you: Thank you.
Jeremy: This pants has wetness indicator and multi-strand leg elastics.
you: you mean, the man pants?
Jeremy: Yes, I meant the man pants.
Jeremy: Shall I help you in placing the order for man pants?
you: Please explain how the wetness indicator works. Previously, the indication that I was wet was the puddle around my ankles.
you: Is it digital?
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I do not have exact information on that.
Jeremy: If you need this information, I can send a request to our Specialized Representative to check on this for you.
you: It would seem to me that the way I would know that my man pants were wet, would be that they were wet.
you: You have people that specialize in man pants wetness indicators?
Jeremy: We have Specialized Representative from product department who can check this information for you.
you: Yes, I think I would like to speak to them.
Jeremy: We do not have direct number or email them directly.
Jeremy: I’ll send a request to our Specialized Representative to check on this for you and you will be contacted within 1 – 2 business days via email with the information.
you: great. Please send the e-mail to _________@yahoo.com
Jeremy: Thank you.
you: thank you Jeremy, for being so understanding. You are a giant among men.
Jeremy: You will be contacted within 1 – 2 business days via email with the information.
Jeremy: You’re welcome.
Jeremy: I’m happy to help. Do you have any further questions for me?      

you: I just want you to know that even though I don’t know you that well, I have love in my heart for you. Thank you, and please terminate this chat before things get too awkward.
Jeremy: I understand
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

 

Time Travel Refund

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Chris.
Chris: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Chris, how can I help you?
you: Hi Chris, my name is Dave.
you: How are you today?
Chris: I’m doing great, thanks.
Chris: How may I help you, Dave?
you: Good, I’m glad to hear it.
you: Chris, I’m a bit of a science buff, and I’ve been working on this theory of….
you: well, maybe I shouldn’t say exactly what it is….
Chris: Okay
you: This chat is confidential, right?
Chris: You are right.
you: OK, well I guess it’s ok to tell you.
you: Chris, this is going to blow your mind….
you: I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out a way to travel through time.
Chris: Okay, I’m glad to hear that, do you have other specific query regarding Overstock.com?
you: I do…
you: You see, I’m really close but I just need to create the actual time machine…
you: other than that, I’ve got it all written down somewhere.Chris: Okay
you: So, this is where you come in.
you: there is a movie trilogy called back to the future…
you: have you ever seen it?
Chris: I’m sorry, I haven’t seen that film.
you: No need to apologize…I haven’t seen it either.
you: based on the synopsis on your web site, I think the DVD might contain information that can help me achieve my goal of traveling back through time.
Chris: Okay, so you are referring to the ‘Back to the Future 3 (DVD)’ at $13.85 under Item#: 11722940, right?

 

 


you: Yes!
you: that’s the one Chris.
you: Do you think that I should buy this film?
Chris: Yes, there are times where movies help us as well.
Chris: Perhaps, it might be good for.
you: Like when?
Chris: It depends on the situation, etc.
you: Can you give me an example?
Chris: I can think of any, as of now, however, you’ll certainly come across as well.
Chris: Do you wish to purchase this DVD or look out for more?
you: I probably will, but I’m curious….
you: are there movies that you sometimes turn to in time of need?
Chris: Yes, there might be, however, no comments from my end regarding that.
you: Fair enough.
Chris: If you are going to make you purchase, will you need my help in placing your order or you can handle it on your own?
you: That may fall under my unique skill set….
you: I still have some concerns about the DVD, for example, there is a part that says “the real problems start after he inadvertently disrupts the first meeting between his future parents–and his mom ends up falling for him instead”
you: Chris?
Chris: Yes.
you: I super don’t want that to happen to me.
Chris: I’d like to let you know that it will be just a movie, moreover, it’s a comedy movie, so anything can happen in a movie.
Chris: Like I’ve mentioned earlier, I don’t have personal comment about this DVD/movie from my end.
you: I totally understand.
Chris: If you have any query regarding the purchase, etc. I’ll be glad to help you out.
you: Just one more thing….
Chris: Okay.
you: If I do purchase the movies, and I manage to learn how to build a time machine as a result of watching them….
you: then I successfully travel backwards in time….
you: …and I inadvertently cause my parents to not meet and not create me….
you: Can I get my money back for the DVD’s?
Chris: Okay, you may return the DVD for a full refund.
Chris: Do you have other questions for me?
you: OK, thanks. I think that’s fair.
you: Thanks for all your help Chris!
Chris: No problem.
Chris: Thanks so much for shopping with Overstock.com. Have a good one.
you: you too!
Chris: Okay, bye.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Dumped

Welcome to Overstock.com Live Chat, you will be joined with a chat representative as quickly as possible.
You are now chatting with Daisy.
Daisy: Hello, how can I help you?
you: Hey Daisy
you: how are you?
you: This is Dave
Daisy: Hi Dave, I’m good thank you.
Daisy: How can I help you today?
you: Well, I’m just doing some shopping
you: I wondered if you could help me, if you aren’t too busy.
Daisy: Sure, I’m not busy other than helping you.
you: that’s great to hear.
you: I’ve been super depressed lately.
Daisy: I’m sorry about that.
you: I feel like the people in my life don’t have time for me, so it makes me feel good to know that you do.
Daisy: Not a problem. Let me know what is the item you’re interested.
you: Maybe it’s all this snow and the cold dreary weather….
you: it just knocks my motivation right out, you know what I mean Daisy?
Daisy: Yes, I do Dave.
you: You get me.
you: Nobody else does, but you.
Daisy: Thank you.
you: I probably don’t even have to tell you what product I have questions about, because I’m sure you already know.
Daisy: I understand that you’ve referring to the ‘DuroStar Portable Electric Snow Blower’ at $180.61.

Daisy: What information about the product do you want to know?
you: You can see right into my very soul.
you: Could you just feel that in your heart?
Daisy: I’m sorry, I wish I could but let me know what is your question?
you: You are very humble.
you: Daisy, lets forget about the snow blower for now. I need to talk about you and me.
you: I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but ever since you guessed that product I was thinking about correctly…I’ve been feeling scared.
you: I’m scared to know that there is a person out there who can see so deeply into my being, and I don’t know what else to do, but run away.
Daisy: I wish I could talk to you, however, I’m sorry I would not be able to talk anything on the chat other than shopping or queries at Overstock.com.
you: I suppose that a real man would go after what he knows is right, but I can’t do it Daisy. We might be bound at the hips of our kindred spirits, but the very thought shakes me to my  core.
Daisy: Dave, what is your question for me about the product?
you: I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. It’s not you, it’s me. I still want you in my life…eventually, but I can’t say when. I’m so sorry Daisy.
Daisy: I’m sorry, I’ll be forced to terminate the chat if you do not have any concerns and move to other customer.
you: I think you should move on to another customer Daisy. It kills me to think of it, but you can’t wait around for me to decide what I’m going to do.
you: It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to.
Daisy: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com and have a great time ahead.
you: You’re so strong. You’ve always been the strong one.
Chat session has been ended by the operator.

 

 

 

Rock & Roll Denny’s

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Denny.
you: Hi Dennys…my name is Dave
Denny: Thanks for visiting Overstock. com, this is Denny. How can I help you?
Denny: Hi, Dave.
you: How are you today Denny’s?
Denny: I am fine, and what about you?
you: What about me? I am fantastic!
Denny: Thank you and how may I help you today?
you: Denny’s, I like things about you…I like that you show pictures of the things I am considering ordering.
you: For instance…
you: I also like that I can come to you in the morning…kind of an early bird special.
Denny: I would request you to keep this chat professional. How may I help you with your concerns to know from our web site?
you: I don’t understand Denny’s…was I unprofessional in some way?
Denny: I am sorry, how may I help you with your concerns, that you would like to know from Overstock. com?
you: I accept your apology.   Denny’s is a staple of American professionalism…and for this I applaud you. I applaud your efforts Denny’s.
you: Today, I have decided to become a musician…
you: Can you help me in achieving this goal?
Denny: That is nice to hear, can I help you with placing an order for a DVD?
Denny: I’m sorry for a ‘Sunburst Finish Electric Guitar’?


you: Yes! How did you know?
you: seriously Denny’s. That is exactly what I am looking at!
Denny: Thank you for confirming.
Denny: Can I help you with placing an order for this item?
you: How did you know that I was looking at that? Can you see me?
you: You can see me, right?
Denny: I am sorry, I cannot see you. The web page I can view and help you.
you: OK…yes. I have a few questions about this guitar.
Denny: I’ll be happy to help you with that.
you: OK…it says “Get ready to rock with this quality hand-crafted electric guitar”. What does that mean?
you: What does it mean to “Rock”?
Denny: Could you please be online for 2-4 minutes while I check and help you further?
you: Of course Denny’s.
Denny: Thanks for holding.
Denny: I see that the features of this product is get ready to rock with this quality hand-crafted electric guitar.
you: yes
Denny: That means you can play music in this and you can enjoy the music.
you: play music in it?
Denny: *That means you can play music with this and you can enjoy the music.
Denny: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
you: Denny’s, do you suppose that it would be possible to play music in it, and NOT enjoy it?
you: I’m just wondering if Overstock.com guarantees some level of enjoyment on my part.
Denny: May I help you in placing an order for this item?
you: You can help me by first answering my last question Denny’s.
you: Then we can discuss you helping me order it.
Denny: You can play music by playing this guitar.
you: but do you suppose that it would be possible to play music in it, and NOT enjoy it?
Denny: Since, this is a fast selling item, before this item goes out of stock, may I place an order for you?
you: I just need to know the possibility of me playing this guitar, and not enjoying the sound coming out.

Denny: No, you can can play music by playing this guitar and enjoy.

you: Is it magical?
Denny: I am sorry, as per the product page we do not have that information for you.
you: This guitar is only capable of playing enjoyable music?
Denny: Since this is a musical instrument you can play any kind of music on it.
you: ANY kind? Wow, I don’t even know how to play! Thank you for the guarantee that I will be able to play any kind of music on this guitar immediately upon taking it out of the box!

you: I love you Denny’s!
Denny: Let me know, if you wish to place the order.
you: I wish to think about it this magic guitar for a few more days before purchasing.
Denny: Not a problem. Do you have any other questions for me today?
you: no Denny’s…thank you, and remember always that I love you and will write a song for you on my new guitar!
Denny: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a Great Day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

If I Had A Hammer

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Macey.
Macey: Thanks for visiting Overstock.com, this is Macey, how can I help you?
you: Oh hi Macey. My name is Dave. How are you?
Macey: Hi Dave.
Macey: I am fine, how about you?
Macey: Thanks for asking.
you: Sure thing! I’m good, and thank you!
Macey: You are welcome.
you: There are three products that I will need your help with tonight.
Macey: Sure, I’ll be happy to help you with that.
you: Great. You got a hammar?
you: pardom me….hammer….
you: I’m so sorry I spelled that wrong Macey.
Macey: That’s okay.
Macey: Let me help you with the product information.
Macey: May I have the catalog number or name of the item you are interested in?
you: I don’t actually have one yet because I couldn’t find the kind of hammer I need. You see, I’m looking for a hammer of justice.
Macey: Let me check that for you.
you: Great, thanks.
Macey: Just to confirm, are you looking for any book related to hammer?
you: No, just an actual hammer. Of justice.
Macey: Thank you.
you: You are super welcome.
Macey: I see that we currently don’t carry the item you are looking for.
you: Do you have anything else that I might be able to hammer out justice with?
Macey: I have checked with the available resources and found an ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.
Macey: Let me provide a link to view the ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.
you: OK
Macey: Please click here to view the ‘Sterling Silver Judge Gavel Charm’.

you: It is charming….but I think that it may be too small to hammer out warning, or danger.
Macey: I can understand.
you: I mean, I could try, but there is a LOT of warning and danger that needs hammering out, and I think it would just take too long if I used this little piece of jewelry.
you: Perhaps we should move on to the second item?
Macey: I apologize we don’t carry the hammer which you are looking for.
you: That’s ok Macey…
you: thanks for looking.
Macey: You are welcome.
Macey: Sure, lets move on.
you: Cool.
you: You got a bell?
Macey: Let me check a bell for you.
you: Great, specifically I am looking for a bell of Freedom.
Macey: I am sorry, we don’t carry the ‘bell of Freedom’.
you: Oh too bad…
you: Might you have another product with which I could use to ring out freedom?
Macey: I understand that you are looking for hammer of justice, bell of Freedom.
you: Yes.
Macey: We don’t carry these kind of items.
Macey: If any item is available it will be displayed on our site.
Macey: You can enter the item name in the search field and enter.
you: I think that in a simpler time, these products might have been easier to find.
you: There are certainly no shortages of mp3 players, or video game machines.
Macey: We have branded MP3 players and video game machines on our site.
you: Like, with a hot iron type thingy?
you: I don’t know the word for those things….
Macey: Okay. Could you please give more information about the “hot iron type”?
you: Actually, I guess they’re just called brands, right?
you: Either way, it’s not important. I think its weird that you guys do that to electronic products, but it’s really none of my concern.
you: I’d like to move on to the final item….
Macey: We have good brands like Apple, Generic and Visual-Land.
you: I’m sure they look great….but again, not interested.
Macey: Let me proceed with the final item.
you: Yes, the third item is actually a song.
you: I don’t know the title, but it’s a song that I’d like to sing.
you: It’s a song about love between my brothers and my sisters.
Macey: I am sorry, we don’t have an option to hear the song.
you: How do you generally sing out warning, and danger?
you: and love between your brothers and your sisters?
Macey: I am still checking on that information.
Macey: I am sorry for the delay.
you: ….that’s ok.
Macey: Please allow me a minute or two while I check that for you.
you: OK, while you’re doing that I wanted to tell you what I’d do if you had these things.
you: If I had a hammer I’d hammer in the morning I’d hammer in the evening All over this land I’d hammer out danger I’d hammer out a warning I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
you: secondly…
you: If I had a bell I’d ring it in the morning I’d ring it in the evening All over this land I’d ring out danger I’d ring out a warning I’d ring out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
you: and finally….
you: If I had a song I’d sing it in the morning I’d sing it in the evening All over this land I’d sing out danger I’d sing out a warning I’d sing out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
Macey: Thanks for staying on hold.
you: you are super welcome.
Macey: I don’t have information how to sing out warning, and danger.
Macey: Do you have any more questions for me today?
you: May I make a statement?
Macey: Sure.
you: I feel very strongly that the Overstock.com factory should begin to manufacture all of the items that we’ve discussed here to tonight.
you: If not for me, than for the children.
you: ….and also the oppressed probably.
Macey: I can understand and currently we don’t have these kind of items.
Macey: Is there anything else I can help you today?
you: No thank you Macey. Thank you again.
you: Have a groovy forever man.
Macey: You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure to help you today.
Macey: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great night.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock.com Service representative.

Liquid Oxygen

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with David.
David: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hi David. That is also my name.
David: Hi, how are you doing today?
you: not bad, and you?
David: Yes, I’m good.
David: Thank you.
David: Please let me know your concern.
you: I’m not really concerned, I mean…I’m not emotional or anything like that.
you: I guess, I’m just curious
David: Okay, I’ll be glad to check and help you today.
you: my question is as follows:  Lotions?
David: May I have the order or invoice number that you are referring at?
you: Catalog #: 10207904
David: Thank you for the catalog number.
you: you are super welcome David
David: Are you referring to the ‘Liquid Oxygen Anti-Aging Body Lotion’ priced at $69.99?


you: Yes, Liquid Oxygen, that is the one.
you: how does one breathe it into their lungs?
David: Thank you for confirming the product.
you: you are super welcome
David: David, I’m sorry to tell you that we don’t have the information that you need.
you: that’s too bad. I’m no scientist, but it seems that Overstock might be on to a real break through here.
David: I’m really sorry, I’ll notify this to our Research Team to check and you will be contacted within 1-2 business days via email or phone.
David: May I have your email address and phone number, please?
you: my phone number is 323 ___-___, please don’t call between the hours of 2:30 am and 3:45…I’m usually working out.
David: Okay, may I have your email address please?
you: I’m sorry, I don’t use e-mail…will you be calling me personally David?
you: I’m looking forward to talking with you in person
David: Ok, I’ll notify this to our Research Team to contact you via phone if possible.
you: So, there is no guarantee that they will call?
David: I’m positive that you will be contacted regarding your question.
you: thank god…this liquid Oxygen fascinates me
you: do you think it might take a little getting use to at first?
you: The liquid Oxygen, that is
David: Yes, I do believe it.
you: have you ever seen the lab where it is created?
David: I’m sorry, I haven’t seen that.
you: oh…I wondered if the product had been tested on animals.
you: animals are so stupid.
you: David, are there any health benefits to breathing Liquid Oxygen into your lungs, as opposed to regular Oxygen (air) which technically is a gas?
David: I’m sorry, I don’t have the information about that.
David: I’ll include all this questions on my notification to our Research Team.

you: I don’t mind.
David: Please allow for our Research Team to get back to you.
you: By the way…I don’t really think animals are stupid.
David: It’s ok, is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: I don’t know why I said that before.
you: I guess I may have been trying to impress you.
David: It’s not a problem, David.
David: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
you: Can you tell me a short story about your research team?
David: Our Research Team will contact the concerned warehouse and manufacture regarding this product related to your questions.
you: ha ha…that was a pretty good one, I guess.
David: As soon as they obtain the necessary information, you will be contacted with the same.
you: oh, sorry I thought it was done.
David: Please let me know if you have any further questions for me?
you: are they nice people?
David: Yes, they are nice people.
you: I only ask because I suffer from a condition called Telephonophobia
you: if people are not nice and pleasant, I become frightened and feel alone.
David: I hope that you will be contacted from a good person.
David: Is there anything else I can help you today?
you: me too David. Can you put a note about that?
you: in fact, I’d like to be contacted by an elderly woman if possible.
you: as elderly as you can find.
you: is that possible?
David: I’ll make a note of this on my notification to the Research Team.
you: you have been an absolute doll, and I thank you.
David: You’re welcome.
you: bye now
David: Thank you for your patience.
David: It’s been nice chatting with you.
you: thank you for yours.
David: Bye, take care.
David: Thank you again for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.

The Lazy Hunter

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Reid.
Reid: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com, this is Reid, how can I help you?
you: Hi Reid
you: My name is Dave
you: How are you today?
Reid: Hi Dave.
Reid: I’m doing good. Thank you. How are you doing today?
you: I feel joy, and the kindness of the human spirit. It’s all around me today Reid.
Reid: That’s great to hear. How can I help you today?
you: I’m just gonna get right to it.
you: I enjoy killing California Black Bears.
Reid: Do you have any questions regarding Overstock.com?
you: Yes.
you: Reid, I enjoy killing California Black Bears.
you: I like it when they are dead, as a result of me doing something to them.
Reid: I’m sorry, the chat will be disconnected if continued in this manner.
you: I’m quite sure I don’t know what you are talking about…
you: What I do not like, is standing up.
you: This is when I came
upon your hunting chair
you: catalog number 11369439
Reid: Ok. You’re referring to the ‘Mobile Hunter 360-degree Adjustable Hunting Chair’.


you: Unless you know of another hunting chair with the same catalog number, then yes….I am indeed.
you: What do you think of this chair Reid?
Reid: Well, it’s one of the fastest selling chairs on our website.
you: Really, even faster than chairs that people don’t hunt in?
Reid: In our hunting gear section, this is one of the fast selling items.
you: Do you think it would be a good chair for me to sit in while killing California Black Bears?
Reid: According to reviews, this is a good chair.
you: Reid?
Reid: Yes?
you: A moment ago, you seemed uncomfortable, and threatened to end the chat.
you: Why may I ask were you upset?
Reid: There weren’t any product specific questions at that point of the chat.
you: I was just trying to give a little background information so that you could better assist me.
you: I’m really sorry…
Reid: Ok. I’m sorry. Do you have any questions for me?
you: Reid, are you familiar with the California Black Bear?
Reid: I’m sorry, I’m not.
you: They are beautiful animals
you: majestic…
Reid: Ok
you: My grandfather taught me how to kill them when I was 15 years old.
you: I’ve been killing them ever since…
Reid: Ok. Do you have any product related questions?
you: four or five per year.
Reid: That’s great to hear.
you: It’s something that I enjoy Reid…
Reid: Ok.
you: I just want to clarify something
you: I don’t kill the bears for sport…I don’t do it for a trophy…I don’t even use the dead bear for it’s meat, fur, or skin…
you: I do it because I enjoy killing bears, then I leave it there.  I just wanted to clarify that.
Reid: Ok. I’ll be glad to help you if you have questions related to products.
you:  Can’t you see how all of this relates?
you: Full circle man…full circle.
Reid: I understand that you do not have any questions. Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. Have a great day.
Chat session has been terminated by the Overstock Service representative.